When Work Sucks!

A friend of mine, call him Stressed out Stuart, has been struggling with his job. He has been working long hours for months and now has to work weekends. He is exhausted and burned out. Worse, he’s tried to tell the boss he needs a break and the boss says “Suck it up, Stuart. We have a deadline. There is profit to be made and someone has to ‘pay the Piper’ It might as well be you!”

Another friend, call her Inconsolable Sally, has been working on an intense project at work. She is a people pleaser and loves to make people happy. She has endured months of stress and aggravation and she’s tired. Worse, she does not feel appreciated. She told me her co-workers say “thank you” but she doesn’t think they recognize her effort and skill. She has been hoping her contribution would lead to a promotion but that now appears unlikely. Worse, when she talked to her boss about it, he told her “well, at least you are learning something new. Isn’t that a ‘win’?” She said, “I don’t work to ‘learn something’. I work to make money to live.”

These friends off mine got together the other night and started grousing. Pretty soon, they were both down in the dumps. Inconsolable Sally and Stressed out Stuart had quite the little pity party and that led to an over abundance of ill-feelings that culminated in copious amounts of alcohol ingestion. And nobody felt better afterwards.

When I heard about their situation, my heart went out to them. So I called Stuart and said, “Hey, Man, I’ve been there.” Then I asked if he wanted advice and was promptly told, “No. That’s just the way it is.” (Which reminded me of a Bruce Hornsby song from the 80’s.) “No hard feelings though.”

This past weekend I met a woman on the Meramec River who had been out of work for some months and was starting a new job in a factory on Monday. Stephanie helped me pick up the trash some “garbage hounds” left behind on the gravel bank. Our children had been swimming together for a few hours and I liked her immensely. I could tell she had a hard life. It wasn’t just her bleached hair, cutoff shorts and multiple tattoos. The vernacular she used made clear she lived a simple life. But she was a beautiful soul. So kind! And she was the first to jump in and save one of the children who couldn’t swim well and started to panic. She told me she was most comfortable on the river; more so than on a beach at the ocean. She said, “Just give me a bonfire and a cold beer with friends and I’m set.” I liked her perspective.

Not all of us have careers we love or jobs that give our lives meaning. Many of us are just trying to survive. And sometimes, it sucks! Sometimes the work is really hard and stressful. And we get caught up in the ‘machine’ of helping the company turn a profit at the expense of our physical and mental health. Sometimes that is “just the way it is.”

But I also think we make life worse with our stress and worry over things beyond our control. We take it too seriously. As if the world really will end if we miss a day, or a deadline. And yes, we do get tired and need vacations–even though we can’t always take them when we want. I think Stephanie has a good point. Sometimes we just need to grab a beer (or some sugar free chocolate) and head down to the river on a Friday night.

Me at the Meramec River

I am fortunate that I live close to many rivers. Not all of them are as beautiful as the Meramec, but they are all filled with wonder. I call this River Therapy. Even on a cold, winter afternoon, I can drive over to the Mighty Mississippi and watch the birds, and the people and just breathe.

I don’t know what it is about rivers that calm and soothe me, but there is something about the constant flow and movement that stimulates joy. It may be the simple wonder of observing subdued power. If one stands in a river, one can feel the force–but when standing on the edge it appears calm and gentle. This is a mystery that causes me to pause and reflect on forces much larger than myself, and that is something important in a world that is constantly telling me I am the center of the universe. I am not and I don’t want to be. Because then I would be God and I’d have to solve for problems like crappy bosses and I know I’m incapable of that. I recognize my limitations.

I love the river. It is a whole ecosystem of living organisms that coalesce. When I stand in the river, I feel like I become part of something wonderful and beautiful. I feel connected but I also feel free. Why is this important? Because I often feel enslaved to work.

I think Inconsolable Sally and Stressed out Stuart could use some river therapy. So could their bosses. But more importantly it would be good for them to recognize the wonder that exists in the world outside of work. Every day we wake up is an opportunity to step outside and take a deep breath and inhale the beauty of creation. It’s a good day to thank the creator for being alive. Sometimes, it’s even a good day to call in sick and call it “a mental health day.”

Today, if you are still living and breathing and able – walk outside, look for something beautiful outside of yourself and stop in wonder and just enjoy it. And if that is beyond your ability because of the intense sucky-ness of your job–maybe fall on your knees and pray for help to the God who knows your pain and loves you.

The Meramec River Spring