When we feel Reckless

I love carefree days. I like watching clouds undulate across the sky like white, wooly fluff. I like listening to the birds sing and the breeze blow through the trees. But this is not one of those days. Today, the foul mood of badness has fallen on my head like an anvil, and I feel like kicking the dog. I feel like driving fast with loud music blaring and cutting people off in traffic. Because as we all know, a bad mood is best when shared with unsuspecting people.

A friend of mine said recently I am prone to allowing my emotions to get the better of me. She meant to admonish me for caving into my feelings because I was having an epic sulk. After I grabbed said friend by the throat and body slammed her into a cement wall (or was that just my imagination?) I grabbed a bag of chocolate and showed her! Take that Miss Judgmental Judy. I’ll show you how much I don’t care about your self-righteous platitudes. And while I’m at it, my pants are getting pissy too so don’t mess with me.

The thing is, bad moods don’t generally just happen. There is usually a precipitating factor that causes pain. Depending on the situation and our temperament, we may just have a good cry and move on. Other times, we need to kill people (or at the very least poke them with sharp sticks until they squeal).

I yam what I yam

I’m a slow-burn type of girl. I’m sort of like a female version of Popeye. I can be really calm and collected and self-controlled for a while, but then, “I’ve had all I can stand, and I can’t stand no more!” Hand me the spinach. Somebody is going to suffer. That is when I get reckless.

I won’t bore the dear reader with my sob story of how I got to this point. (Hint: I live with a 13-year-old, strong-willed bi-polar boy) What I will say is that lately, I’ve been seeing red–blood red. And the truth is, it’s just plain fun to provoke people when I feel that way. In that regard, social media is like crack cocaine; there are plenty of other pissed off and provoked people who fuel my addiction. And sometimes, the temptation to indulge in a little verbal jousting is simply irresistible.

“But Margaret, are you saying that when you get mad you enjoy being a jerk?”

“Why yes, Dear Reader. Yes, I do. Would you like some of this action?”

But the really bad thing about reckless behavior is that it breeds like a bunny. Not that I’m worried about losing friends when I’m in that type of mood, but I recognize there can be long-term consequences. Which is why I have been cultivating habits for healthier ways to address my bad moods.

There is something very cathartic about running when I am mad. I can turn on the music (usually Switchfoot) and beat up the cement with my Mizuno running shoes. Nobody gets hurt and I expend pent up energy. There is also something very appealing about burning things. For a while I was really angry with some stumps in my yard that refused to stop growing. I decided to pile leaves on them and burn them…at least until one of my (nosey, obnoxious) neighbors called the fire department–who promptly informed me burning leaves in my yard is not exactly legal. And since it is also illegal to konk firemen over the head with my rake, I let them use my garden hose to extinguish my fire. But I must admit, I was very “put out”.

…and you thought stepping on a crack would break your mama’s back.

This weekend, I was mad enough about life stuff that I picked up sweet gumballs and burned them in my firepit. This is what I do when I get so mad I could spit. Take that you darn tree of horrible, god-awful, thorny spheres of ankle-breaking evil. I will burn your progeny in my fire pit. Roast! And since there are no instances of sweet gum trees attacking feisty middle-aged mothers of testy teens, I figured I was probably pretty safe.

But seriously, when the urge comes upon us to enact vengeance, we really must try to resist the urge to puncture innocent people. For that matter, we probably shouldn’t poke guilty people either. There are laws against assault and battery that could land us in a real jail cell or at the very least, poked back and still pissed. And since our culture is currently in a heightened state of “reckless”, we really should do our best to end the cycle.

So, dear reader, take my advice: don’t kick your dog, don’t throw eggs at your neighbor’s house, and don’t slap anyone silly (though you may text someone that if they don’t shut up you will slap them silly). But rather, pray to Almighty God to help you find an alternative outlet–be it stomping moles that are destroying your yard, trapping greedy squirrels and poking them through the cage with your fingers, or farting on your bratty teenage boy (beans, the magical fruit!). There really is no limit to the creativity a bad mood can inspire. Shoot, I did all three of those things today and I feel much better already.

I welcome safe and effective suggestions in the comments.