Trust is Not a Four Letter word

Have you ever been on a boat in the middle of a storm?

Some years back our family went on vacation at Table Rock Lake. We splurged and rented a pontoon boat, even though several members of our party either could not swim or were terrified of water. We fastened our life vests and drove far out into the lake. Once there, the members of our party who liked the water and could swim, jumped in and began to paddle around the boat. We could not touch the bottom and I remember the euphoria of freedom. I was still overweight at the time and rather buoyant. I remember bobbing around like a porpoise and relishing my “weightless” state of existence. (Floating was the only thing I enjoyed about being overweight).

While we swam, the people inside the boat began to get nervous. The wind was whipping up waves which caused the boat to rock back and forth and up and down like a cork. We did not know a storm was in the forecast. As the wind picked up we climbed back in and my husband began to guide us back to port.

But we were not fast enough. The storm was upon us! I remember my loved ones crying in fear as my husband struggled to get the boat to shore. I held tight to my children—knowing there was nothing I could do to save us. We were completely at the mercy of the wind and waves with no safe harbor in sight. The cold rain pelted our faces and my husband stood grim-faced at the helm. I will be honest, I was certain we were going to die. Visions of a broken boat and lifeless bodies floating in the water filled my mind. The adults pelted my husband with commands—none of which made sense. Finally he shouted above the storm, “Be quiet!” and we all stopped making noise. It was clear that we were in a serious situation and only one person could drive the boat.

I realize the storm metaphor is a little overused. Forgive me. It’s just that emotions are like storms; they send gale force winds and if we have no strong captain at the helm, we are completely at their mercy.

Pain

The winds of relational pain slapped at my hull last night and send my boat to bobbing. Suddenly I started shouting commands at God. “You need to get my boat out of this water right now! Don’t you know I’m getting seasick?”

And God said no. And then he sent a stronger wind.

Disappointment

And another wave hit me and I said, “God, I’m in real trouble now. My hopes are dashed by disappointment. Please, make the storm stop.”

And God said no. And then he sent hail.

Anger

And I said, “God, what are you trying to do to me? This really hurts. I’ve got bruises all over my face and arms and I can barely breathe. Can’t you see I’m trying to get to shore? Are you trying to kill me?”

And God didn’t answer. Instead, he revealed the full force of the hurricane.

Now maybe you are reading this and thinking I shouldn’t go there. After all, people are suffering on the East coast after Hurricane Florence. Obviously, I’m not dead or in any way physically impacted in landlocked Missouri, but I can appreciate their suffering having lived through two tornadoes and the resulting power outages. I have faced fierce winds, flooding,  and a refrigerator full of foods gone bad. I have stood under gutters that sagged with rain water and have mopped muddy water from my basement. I can appreciate the devastation that occurs during a storm.

Grief

So then my boat sank. I began to cry. “God, where are you? Don’t you love me anymore? How can I get anywhere without a boat? I cried out to you for help and you sank me. You hurt my loved ones. You wrecked my dreams. Now all I’ve got is this stinking life vest and a withering ache. What in heaven’s name am I supposed to do now? I’m stranded. And the storm is still blowing.”

And then God whispered, “Trust me.”

My husband was fighting the wind and waves when he spotted a man standing on a nearby dock who was waving at us to come in. Eric guided the boat towards the stranger who quickly tied us down and ushered us up a dirt path and into a building. Even though we thought we were in the worst of the storm, we were not. The moment we got inside, the real deluge began. Had we been on the lake five minutes longer we could not have made it to shore and I am certain we would have wrecked.

The man (whose name I don’t recall) owned a small resort on the lake. The building served as a small rec center for guests. We stood there dripping in the ice cold air conditioning; thankful to be alive but thoroughly wrung out. The man’s wife brought us all towels and encouraged us to make ourselves comfortable until the storm had passed. Eventually, the wind stopped and the sun came out. The man and woman helped us back onto our rented pontoon boat and waved goodbye. It was a sober trip back to the dock with not much talking. Candidly, we were quite finished with boating for the day.

It’s really hard to trust God when the storms hit. I don’t know why I think I’ve mastered steering through them. I conquer one wave only to be overwhelmed by the next. Were it not for my steadfast resolve to trust God, I would most certainly drown.

My steadfast anchor of the soul today is Psalm 34. “I will bless the Lord at all times. His praise will continually be in my mouth. My soul makes its boast in the Lord. Let the humble hear and be glad.”

I don’t know why God sends storms any more than I know why God allows suffering. But I do know that if I cry out to him for help, he will help me. The help may not be the help I hoped for or even wanted, but I have come to know that the help He sends is the help He means me to have. Therefore, I can rest safe in His arms—knowing that He loves me and that I am not forsaken or abandoned. Today, if you are caught in the storm, remember He is a faithful friend. Trust Him. 

I Peter 1:3-9 “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”