Thankfulness: A Simple Happiness

I went swimming in the big blue ocean this morning. It was glorious. The wind was cool, and the temperature a fair 71 degrees. I swam with the cows and breathed in the smell of a million sweet wildflowers. I went flying too. I skipped through the luscious blue sky like a perfectly flat and round stone. The wispy clouds were at my fingertips and the brilliant green grass smiled up at me and waved. Okay, so I didn’t really swim and fly, but I did ride my bicycle and it was amazing.

I’m so excited that spring is here. I’m excited I can ride my bike without 3 jackets and two pairs of pants. I’m excited to fly down hills without chattering teeth. I’m excited to see the sun crest over the horizon as the big bass jumps out of the lake next to the bike trail. In fact, the only thing I’m not excited about is bugs in my teeth, but I’ll save that for another blog post.

I used to dream about the ocean. I don’t live close to one and so I always wanted to visit. I wanted to play in the sand and swim with the fishes. I wanted to collect sea shells and chase little white crabs. I wanted to live there so badly I could almost taste it. So this morning as I was riding my bicycle, I realized that a different kind of big blue ocean was right at my fingertips. I realized what I truly longed for was right in front of me. I mean, I knew I was pedaling, but I felt like I was swimming in the pure beauty of an ever changing sky. And all those years I spent dreaming and wanting were really kind-of wasted when all I had to do was just look up!

For those who don’t rise early in the morning, the sunrise is such an amazing experience. I leave when it is dark. This morning the moon was shining bright and the stars were sparkling. Then gradually, the black turns to gray and then to blue. And if I’m really lucky, the sun pops over the horizon with a burst of color that lights up the clouds. I felt the sun this morning as I climbed the hill out of my favorite park. I felt the cool air on my back turn warm and looked back to see the hot pink sun shining at me. The simplicity of it made me so happy.

A few short years ago I stood in the shower in the morning and cried. I said, “Today I’ll do better. Today I won’t eat Taco Bell and candy. Today I will learn to control my appetite. Today I will start to lose weight.” I looked down at my aching knees and my giant tummy and howled in misery. And then I pulled out my elastic waistband clothes and my stretched out shirts, and I dragged my heavy body to work. I was in a constant state of grieving. I don’t know any other way to put it. I wanted to lose weight more than anything in the whole wide world but I didn’t know how. I didn’t have a plan. I didn’t know what it meant to eat healthy. I couldn’t face life without a non-stop infusion of sugar. It was pure misery. Every. Single. Day. I remembered that feeling this morning as I soared down hills on my bicycle. And I was so thankful. I thanked my God for delivering me from slavery to food.

Gratitude is a funny thing. We say “Thank you” when someone opens the door for us. We say “Thank you” when the waitress brings us our food. But true soul-filled thankfulness springs from the realization that we have something precious, something we don’t necessarily deserve, something we never, ever want to let go of. This morning I understood that the longing for something I can’t have makes me feel very empty inside. Taking stock of the wonderful things I do have makes me feel full. The sky is not the ocean, but it is just as beautiful. My sagging belly will never put me on the cover of Shape Magazine, but I used to weigh 140 pounds more. Riding my bicycle isn’t swimming in the ocean but the wind on my face feels just as sweet.

Years ago I worked for a man who never had enough. He had a beautiful house, a pretty good salary and a lovely family. But every morning when I greeted him and said, “How are you?” he would reply, “I wish I had a million dollars.” And I remember wondering what would happen if he ever got it. Would he really be happy? Or would he want a million more?

My life isn’t perfect and I have about a thousand and one things I could complain about. But I’m not going to. Today I’m just so filled with gratitude and wonder at the beautiful world around me. Whoever you are reading this, you have something to be thankful for. Be it as simple as the air in your lungs or the sound of the birds outside your window….take stock of what you have and be glad. You’ll be happier for it.

On April 26, 2016   /   The Journey   /   Leave a comment