Such a thing as glory

I was sitting quietly at my work station when I heard the “thwack” of a large object hitting the door to my office. My co-workers stood up and looked at me, “What is happening?” I imagined the worst; the mailman threw a package and broke the glass–but no, it was worse.

I opened the door and saw a tiny Junco. The little gray and white bird lay gasping on my doorstep. I could have left it there–after all, there was nothing I could do. She was either stunned–would revive and fly away, or dying. And since I am not a veterinarian or a miracle worker, I could have closed the door and went on about my business. Instead, I kneeled down and gently scooped her up. Her tiny heart was beating so fast, but she did not blink or move. She simply lay there staring at me.

I sat at my desk with her for a few minutes and prayed for her. I thought, maybe God will spare her. So I prayed more fervently as I sensed the struggle in her to live. It was as if I could hear her whispering, “Help me! Save me! I don’t want to die!”

So I prayed, “God, please heal her neck. Have mercy! She’s just a little bird. She is so beautiful and lovely. Surely you don’t want to see such a wonderful creature pass away.” Because the truth is, I believe in miracles. I believe Jesus made the lame to walk and the blind to see.  He also said he sees every sparrow that falls.

Back before Christmas I was really struggling with the weight of despair. The oppressive nature of isolation was really getting to me, along with fears about the election process. I don’t watch a lot of television but I felt the need for something inspirational and positive. I identify with true stories that illustrate courage in the face of adversity but I was having a hard time finding one that wasn’t cheesy. Then I stumbled across the documentary, Rich Mullins: A Ragamuffin’s Legacy.

Rich Mullins

I have heard a lot about Rich Mullins over the years but never really listened to his music. By all accounts, Mullins was an odd duck. He struggled with alcohol addiction, depression, and a painful history with his father. He was a square cog shoved into a round music industry hole–going so far as to abandon Nashville to live on an Indian reservation because he wanted to minister to the poor. He was moody. Rude. Weird. And he was talented as all “get out”. Mostly importantly, he loved God.

Over the past few weeks I’ve been listening to his songs. I happened across a few cd’s while Christmas shopping at the thrift store. And since I don’t believe in coincidences, I bought them all. It’s the best $3 I ever spent.

And this is the point in the blog where I wax eloquent about how awesome good music is and how healing it can be. But also how hard it is in this day and age to find music with powerful, relevant lyrics.

“And I know that the gates of hell are not as prone to prevail as I thought that they were. And I pray it won’t be long until your kingdom comes.” – Rich Mullins

“There is a loyalty that is deeper than mere sentiments.” – Rich Mullins

“So if I stand, let me stand on the promise that you will pull me through. And if I can’t, let me fall on the grace that first brought me to you. And if I sing, let me sing for the joy that has borne in me these songs. And if I weep, let it be as a man who is longing for his home.” – Rich Mullins

I’ve been listening to these songs over the past few days while a shadow passes over my country of origin. And since I have been reading, “The Fellowship of the Ring” to my son, I think of Mordor and wonder, “Where is Aragorn? Where is Gandalf? Is anyone coming to save us from the Nazgul?”

And then I remember; He already has.

“Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, who do people say that the Son of Man is? And they said, ‘Some say John the Baptist, others say Elijah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.’ He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” Simon Peter replied, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” And Jesus answered him, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven. And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” Matthew 16: 13-19

I have to remind myself that it is during the darkest of hours of our lives that we lift our eyes to the heavens and put our trust in God. He doesn’t always answer our prayers the way we want Him to, but that makes him no less powerful. He loves us and He hears us.

The little Junco did not revive. She slowly turned cold. Rich Mullins also died. His jeep rolled over on his way to a concert in 1997. He was 41–only a few years younger than my grandmother who also died in a car crash. Meanwhile, people are dying of illness and tragedy all around us and our government is in upheaval. Where is our hope?

My co-workers–my dogs, Annabelle and Tank–watched as I buried the little bird in my yard. I committed her body to the maker of all good things. He gives and He takes away. Blessed be His name. There is so much peace in knowing He is absolutely in control of each and every situation on the planet at all times. It boggles the mind, but this is where I put my faith and my trust. Where do you put yours?

“There is such a thing as glory and there are hints of it everywhere.” – Rich Mullins