Today was a really tough day for several reasons. I am learning new responsibilities at work that stretch my brain, and under deadlines that must be met with no flexibility. I have been anxious and afraid that I will fail to fulfill my obligations. Anxiety feeds hunger and hunger makes me cranky. Also, it wasn’t even 9:00am when I saw the candy bowl. It was one of those nice, big, Halloween plastic contraptions filled with a variety of beautiful, horrible, miniature candy bars. I “turned the other cheek” as they say, but the bowl haunted me every time I walked past it. I may have put a mental hex on the person who put it there, but I’m not admitting to anything publicly.
Because of my workload I’ve had to cancel 3 lunches with friends this week, which means I have not had my fill of social interaction. My friends frequently make work tolerable and without them, I feel like “all work and no play makes Margaret seriously stressed out.” So it was that I came home at 6:00pm and began to prepare a home-cooked dinner. That’s right! No fast food for us. And because of recent pay cuts in our home we can’t afford to eat at a restaurant. I’m not complaining because there are people out there who don’t have food in their tummies and are crying themselves to sleep. But suffice to say, I was/am tired and cooking was the very last thing I wanted to do.
Tiggers love to bounce!
So here I am sitting down for the first stress-free moments of my day–a full 14.5 hours after I woke up. And, just, wow! So this is my life. 20 minutes of peace before I get to go to bed and do it all over again tomorrow.
And so I decided to spent ten of those moments grounding myself for what is sure to be an extremely demanding day tomorrow. I want to encourage others who are dealing with stress and bills and frenetic family members insisting on immediate and undiluted attention. Even when filled with insanity by way of business, I still think my life is precious and lovely and filled with inestimable grace. I am sincerely thankful for a God who sees me frazzled and broken, and esteems me as brave and beautiful. And in all honesty, because He lives, I can face tomorrow, even if it is twice as crazy as today was.
I rest in the knowledge that I am loved and cherished. I take solace because I know God is for me, even when the world conspires to tear me down. I know that I am held in the strong arms of the maker of the stars and the equally mysterious human soul. And today, despite the stress, my soul finds rest in Him. Tonight I will lay down and sleep in peace, for he truly does make me dwell in safety.
Psalm 46:1-7
God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
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