Destination Discipline

Do you know that moment where you feel a whim coming on? It seems like a good idea so you take the first step. And then you think, hm, I don’t know if that was wise but I’m one step in, I may as well take two. 50 steps later you gasp at the carnage but you can’t go back. You’re in it up to your chin. That, my friends, is how you accidently cut 8 inches off your hair.

It’s not like I don’t have practice being an idiot. I do this with food all the time. Raisins are my supreme downfall. At least with cookies I have the good sense to stop after I eat a couple because I know they are bad for me. But raisins? They are kind of healthy, so I generally keep eating until I consume the whole box. I am definitely challenged when it comes to impulse control.

Here’s the thing, I need to stop and be more intentional. I am a very busy person and generally rush from one thing to the next without a lot of thought. I am learning that I must stop and think before I make decisions. I just really wish I didn’t have to learn everything the hard way.

All of that to say, I really do try to learn from my mistakes. And I endeavor to make better choices. And with that said, here is my new “Margaret-do”.

After all, a bad haircut isn’t the end of the world.

Today is a good day. A beautiful day. And tomorrow, shoot, it’s going to be even better.

Well, each day we wake up is a gift, right? Each day this side of the grave we should count our blessings. That’s what I say. And then someone decides to kill me with cookie cake.

My husband was soooo good this year. I told him no cake and he listened. He loves me like that. And then there are my co-workers. They care about me and decide to lavish me with love via donuts and cookie cake. Well, I survived. My pants don’t fit any more, but hey, that’s why I saved my fat clothes, right? (It still feels wrong to complain about being fat when so many people in the world are starving.)

I actually had 4 days of birthday, which is fantastic. It is truly awesome to be loved. I got beautiful cards, including a prayer journal from a new friend at work. It really was a great week, which culminated in a so/so Mexican joint in Maryland Heights called Chihuahua’s where my best pal Sheryl treated me to guacamole, super spicy salsa and…

Clapping and shouting whilst wearing a glitzy sombrero and hoping I wasn’t contracting head lice. Sheryl says, “You only live once.” Well, she’s right.

And then there is my boss, who made me cry when he sent these…

All in all, life is good. And I was happy as a Junebug in, well, June. Until this morning when I climbed from my relaxing bath and decided to trim up the dead ends of my hair. Then my day went from great to dear-God-what-in-the-world-was-I-thinking quicker than you can say, “Did your head get stuck in the lawn mower?

to be continued…

Sometimes my youngest Beastlet(hereby referred to as B#3) gets stuck. Not physically stuck, but mentally stuck. He decides that he wants something and then proceeds to badger me about it until he gets it. The screaming matches are legendary in our house. I never win. He is one stubborn kiddo. This morning it was trains. B#3: “I want to take the trains to Grandma’s house today.” Me: “No.” The giant Rubbermaid tub of trains weighs about 40 pounds and there is no way I’m lugging that to the car in heels. He began to wail and I knew he was building up to a tantrum of epic proportions. But rather than let him escalate I decided to try a new tactic that is proving most effective…distraction. If I can distract him for long enough, he forgets what he wanted and we move forward. I asked him a simple question that forced him outside his current train of thought and caused him to formulate a response. Do you know that after his long and complicated answer, he completely forgot about the trains? We left the house in peace. Mom wins this round: 1 point.

Lately I find myself taking fruitless mental trips. The bad thing about the brain is its vast capacity to wander. If not careful, it will take me someplace I really don’t want to go. The wonderful thing about the brain is I control it. If I don’t like where I’m going, I can redirect. This process takes practice and perseverance, but it works.

For example:

Thought process: My boss is going to Australia. My boss is so lucky. I wish I were going to Australia. Australia is a beautiful place. How come I can’t afford to go to Australia? I wish I made a million dollars a year. It’s not fair that I can’t go there. Why can’t I be rich like my boss? I hate my boss. He is stupid. I hate my job. I hate my life. Queue bitterness and depression for the rest of the day..

Now, if I recognize where my train of thought is going before I get to the red text above, I can redirect to the purple text below:

They have kangaroos in Australia. Kangaroos are scary. Bugs Bunny taught me they will pummel me with their ginormous feet. I don’t want to go to Australia because I might get mauled by a kangaroo. Queue relief, nervous laughter and a jovial mood for the rest of the day.

See?

Today some idiot put a box of donuts outside my cube. On the very top was blueberry cake donut, my absolute favorite. I can put the donut of doom out of my mind for a while but every time I turn around, the thought of that sweet, fluffy, fat laden confection slaps me upside the head and says, “Pay attention, B*tch! I own you.” So I can choose to go down path #1 and land in a sad, depressed state wherein I lament that there are skinny people in the world who can enjoy blueberry cake donuts and never gain a pound. And then there is me. I have gained 2 pounds just looking at the donut. Then I feel so bad about life that I have to eat the donut to make myself feel better OR, I can think about the sugary sweet grapes I’m going to eat instead and how fantastic I will feel after I eat them. Because if I ate that donut, I would get a sugar buzz for about 30 minutes and then crash into a pile of sludge and feel like I swallowed a rock for 2 hours. And then I would beat myself about the head for hours reminding myself how weak and pathetic I am. Ew!

The brain is an amazing organ. It controls so much of our bodies without us consciously telling it what to do. Imagine how challenging it would be to purposefully think about every breathe we took. And yet, we can hold our breath if we want to. So many times we don’t try to step outside our “mental trip” to see we have other options. For obvious reasons, we get stuck in a rut. Why do they call it a rut? Because, Dummy, you’ve been over that ground a thousand times. Today, I encourage you to step off the beaten path and run through the green field to your right. There are daisies and deer and maybe even a creek with a frog in it. Now, you wouldn’t want to miss that frog, would you?