Destination Discipline

Fridays are happy days. The Cardinals won the NLDS and I was there in person to see it with my best kid. I was talking to a friend at work today and said, “I was close enough to see Jadi’s…” He finished my sentence….”Tattoos?” I said, “Well, I wasn’t going to say tattoos.” He said, “Well, we’ll go with that.” It was such a fun night. The best thing about the night was I won green seat tickets from my work.

Yes, that is David Freese. I was close enough to see his tattoos too. 🙂

Now if you don’t know what green seat tickets are, they come with access to the Cardinals Club, which includes an all you can eat buffet. I made the decision to eat what I wanted because I was celebrating. They had the best green beans I have ever tasted and a corn chowder that is still making my mouth water. I kept walking around telling the staff “thank you” and “this food is amazing” and they were all laughing at me. I guess that’s not customary behavior for people who can afford those kinds of tickets.

The problem is, I was set loose at an all you can eat buffet. This is paradise for a food addict like me. I will spare you the play-by-play. Needless to say, it is a night that will go down healthy-living infamy.

I had the great pleasure to sit by a girlfriend from work and her husband. She happened to tell him about my weight loss and he looked at me and said, “No way. How’d you do it?” I like how she mentioned this as I was stuffing my face with chocolate ice cream. “Well, I didn’t eat sugar….and…” I just felt stupid. I felt like a Christian caught cursing.

And just like that I’m derailed. There are always a million excuses for me to celebrate with food and only a handful of reasons not to. And fitting into my favorite skirt isn’t very compelling when faced with handmade cannoli’s. Even worse, I don’t feel very guilty. If ever there was an occasion to celebrate with food, that was it.

What I will say is that I had more fun dancing and cheering and acting like a crazy person than I have in a long time. My son was embarrassed which means I did it right. My friend from work said the people in the Jones box thought her seatmate should settle down. It was simply, a wonderful time.

Because I am generally healthy I was able to do all of this without breaking a sweat. And I felt that while I was there. I never got out of breath from dancing too hard nor did I have to sit down because I was too tired. Granted there was a lot of adrenaline flowing, but it was fantastic nonetheless. And this is why I will never stop trying to stay healthy. I love how good it feels to dance and play and not be burdened with my weight. I have worked so long and so hard, and it was worth every tear, every missed snack and every painful workout to get to this place.

Tomorrow I am really looking forward to my walk. I may even jog a little. I get to tour Ferguson and enjoy the fresh air and sunshine. Tonight, I celebrate life. I am so happy to be alive and blessed beyond measure.

Do you know that moment where you feel a whim coming on? It seems like a good idea so you take the first step. And then you think, hm, I don’t know if that was wise but I’m one step in, I may as well take two. 50 steps later you gasp at the carnage but you can’t go back. You’re in it up to your chin. That, my friends, is how you accidently cut 8 inches off your hair.

It’s not like I don’t have practice being an idiot. I do this with food all the time. Raisins are my supreme downfall. At least with cookies I have the good sense to stop after I eat a couple because I know they are bad for me. But raisins? They are kind of healthy, so I generally keep eating until I consume the whole box. I am definitely challenged when it comes to impulse control.

Here’s the thing, I need to stop and be more intentional. I am a very busy person and generally rush from one thing to the next without a lot of thought. I am learning that I must stop and think before I make decisions. I just really wish I didn’t have to learn everything the hard way.

All of that to say, I really do try to learn from my mistakes. And I endeavor to make better choices. And with that said, here is my new “Margaret-do”.

After all, a bad haircut isn’t the end of the world.

Today is a good day. A beautiful day. And tomorrow, shoot, it’s going to be even better.

Well, each day we wake up is a gift, right? Each day this side of the grave we should count our blessings. That’s what I say. And then someone decides to kill me with cookie cake.

My husband was soooo good this year. I told him no cake and he listened. He loves me like that. And then there are my co-workers. They care about me and decide to lavish me with love via donuts and cookie cake. Well, I survived. My pants don’t fit any more, but hey, that’s why I saved my fat clothes, right? (It still feels wrong to complain about being fat when so many people in the world are starving.)

I actually had 4 days of birthday, which is fantastic. It is truly awesome to be loved. I got beautiful cards, including a prayer journal from a new friend at work. It really was a great week, which culminated in a so/so Mexican joint in Maryland Heights called Chihuahua’s where my best pal Sheryl treated me to guacamole, super spicy salsa and…

Clapping and shouting whilst wearing a glitzy sombrero and hoping I wasn’t contracting head lice. Sheryl says, “You only live once.” Well, she’s right.

And then there is my boss, who made me cry when he sent these…

All in all, life is good. And I was happy as a Junebug in, well, June. Until this morning when I climbed from my relaxing bath and decided to trim up the dead ends of my hair. Then my day went from great to dear-God-what-in-the-world-was-I-thinking quicker than you can say, “Did your head get stuck in the lawn mower?

to be continued…