Destination Discipline

So, let’s be honest, how many of you are suffering from gorged stomach syndrome? I don’t know what that is. I totally made it up. But I would define it as stuffing my stomach so full I can feel it in my esophagus. I totally did that over the holidays. The good news is, I stuffed myself mainly with veggies, protein and fruit. I have not eaten one Christmas cookie, though I did enjoy baking them for my friends and family. I did eat cake at work but after it made me very ill that was the end of my sugar binge. I have managed to lose a few pounds over the month of December and I don’t feel deprived of anything. I don’t say all of this to rub it in anyone’s face. I only want to point out that it is possible to eat right, exercise and not gain weight over the holidays.

But I have good news for those of you who weren’t so fortunate. If you picked up a few pounds or simply want to change your lifestyle, it’s not too late! You can quite literally start eating right and exercising right now. So stop the pity party, pick up your feet and dance!

Okay, so maybe I got a little carried away here. I found this dress at the thrift store and couldn’t resist it. I know I have no place to wear it so I put it on Christmas Day and walked around the house and pretended I was a princess. Best Christmas gift to myself ever!

Also, one of my good friends came into town over the holidays and we had the good fortune(and timing) to get to work out together. We walked 4.6 miles through beautiful Ferguson, MO and caught up on each other’s lives. It was one of my holiday highlights. She, like many, struggle with finding motivation to eat right and exercise. Living a healthy lifestyle is as important as you make it. If you don’t make it a priority, it won’t be. I know my friend will find her way and I wish her every success!

I have thoroughly enjoyed the holidays. I loved the time spent with my family. I loved reminiscing on what Christmas means to me personally…Jesus made flesh. I enjoyed my week of vacation(no work!) I will head back to work on Monday but this year there will be no January blues. I am still sticking with my dairy/gluten free diet and am battling depression no more. Today I am extremely grateful that God has set me free from my addictions. So as Phil Robertson would say, I truly am, happy happy happy!

I have been very consumed with holiday preparations. For the first time in maybe ever, I started Christmas shopping early. Granted, early for me is 3 weeks prior to Christmas. I also baked 6 kinds of Christmas cookies. I have been filled with joy as I give them to my friends and co-workers. Next week I get to share them with my family. Am I evil for gifting these sweet treats? I have decided I am not.

This past weekend was the first of several family get-togethers. We had a snow delay when a storm hit Missouri on Saturday and I was sad that several relatives were not able to attend on Sunday. It was so nice to see my aunts, uncles and cousins. The whole time I was there I had this feeling of indelible warmth and security. I thought about how these people are constants in my life. They have shaped who I am. We don’t only share genetics, we share history and beautiful memories. My aunts seem as beautiful to me now as they did when I was 12. And their kindness seems to know no bounds. I hope that when I grow up I am 1/5th as wonderful as they are.

In the past my holidays were fraught with worries over irresistible desserts. Not this year. My dairy and gluten free diet give me the peace to say no to all wonder of goodies. And I honestly don’t feel like I’m missing out. If anything, I feel unencumbered by the weight of worry and guilt so that I can more fully enjoy myself. I am filled with joy and peace, and Christmas isn’t even here yet!

I would like to share one picture from Sunday. I was able to see my cousin, Jake, who is home on leave from the Air Force. When I saw him in the flesh I was so proud and humbled that I just hugged him and then asked to have my picture taken with him. It feels like he is a celebrity. He has been stationed in Alaska for the past year and is now headed off to other exotic countries. I am praying for his safe return!

If it sounds like I’ve fallen off the wagon with my workouts, I haven’t. If anything I am enjoying running outside more than ever! I feel stronger and healthier than I have in my whole life. So while I celebrate the birth of Jesus while enjoying the company of my family and friends, I am so grateful for the gift of good health. I never for one day take it for granted.

The past several days have been unseasonably warm. That would be great except they have been gray, humid and well, kind-of gross. It’s not like spring, where there is the hope of 70’s and green grass. It’s December. I personally feel December should be cold(not too cold) and snowy(which should melt within 2 days). December should NOT be humid and warm.

So when I peeled myself from my bed this morning, grumpy and sullen, I felt a distinct sense of, “I don’t want to go to work today. I want to stay home and sulk.” And why shouldn’t I? I could skip my workout. I could turn on Lifetime television. I could wear soft fuzzy pants(they make me happy) and eat raisins and chocolate all day. No one would have to know. Because some days the only person I feel accountable to is me and I’m not in the mood to lead. Today, I would rather be a slacker.

But….(and it’s a big butt!)…

My crazy, healthy, evil twin was not having any of that today. She put me in my place and said, “Hey, you! Lazy buns! It’s 50 degrees outside in December and I don’t care how gray and gloomy it is. Get your booty out there and move!” Yes, I do talk to myself and listen, I’ve never pretended to be sane. If you want normal, visit another blog.

So I turned on my favorite tunes(this morning it was the book of Hebrews) and marched up my street and into the great wide open.

While my crazy, healthy, evil twin whipped me into shape I humbly obeyed. For I really am a weak-willed, lazy, sugar-fiend. She had me jogging(when I wanted to walk) and pumping my arms when I wanted to flop in the middle of the street in rebellion. But when I completed my first mile, I started to feel like maybe she did have my best interests at heart.

Then it started to drizzle. Sweat and rain dripped into my eyes and I realized I was hot. Except these facts did not make me cranky, they ramped up my determination to show that crazy, healthy, evil twin how strong I really am.

All of this to say, something really cool happens to your body when you push yourself. It’s not just physical, though endorphins are really awesome. It’s emotional and spiritual too. Disciplining one’s body by forcing it to do something it doesn’t inherently want to do, gives you a feeling of accomplishment. By making yourself do something difficult, you begin to realize it bears fruit. How, you ask? Well, taking control of your life by harnessing your body is one of the most difficult things you will ever do in your life. Walking up that hill might take your breath away the first few times, but on the 5th trip, when you make it to the top without gasping for air or clinging to the curb, a light bulb will go off in your brain. You will say, “Hey, I didn’t think I could do that but I can. Holy mother of Moses! I am stronger than I thought!” Persevering through demanding physical work makes us strong emotionally, as well as physically. Yes, working out feels like crap when you are out of shape. But if you make a habit of it, you will begin to feel REALLY good.

So I was driving to work and still a little out of sorts. It was still rainy and still drizzling and traffic was not fun. So I turned on my favorite Switchfoot album(okay, they are all my favorites) but today it was “Bullet Soul.” And I danced in my seat while I was sitting on the highway waiting for the log jam to move. It was awesome. And I thought to myself, this is why I got healthy. So I could FEEL like I won the lottery even though all I’m doing is sitting in my car. So while I get awfully aggravated at my crazy, healthy evil twin and want to tell her, “Don’t be such a show-off”, I am secretly giving her a high five. Because when I danced up the stairs into work today, while all the other drones were dragging @ss, I realized I may be completely insane, but I no longer weigh 310 pounds and that is one heck of a reason to celebrate.