Destination Discipline

Sometimes I get so frustrated with myself. This struggle to stay healthy fights against every compulsive instinct in my flesh. I see other people thin and trim and eating whatever they want and I get angry. So I work through the anger and push forward. Personal discipline is one of the most challenging of disciplines. One is forced to confront their own history, their physical desires, and the emotional issues that drive behaviour. I do truly miss the days I could eat and not analyze, or feel guilt, or worry about every single thing I put into my body.

But the many blessings of exercise and eating healthy far outweigh the struggle. When I run up a flight of stairs, when I feel my heart racing and the sweat pouring and get that rush of adrenaline, I remember how fortunate I am to be young and have the option to be healthy when so many people do not.

Despair is a powerful feeling that can swallow us whole. There are days when I fight it with every fiber in my body. I refuse to give up, to give in, to surrender. Even when my heart is breaking over my poor choices, I continue to pray and fight the impulses that wreak havoc in my life. This is my constant thought process: I can. I will. Don’t give up!”

Today if you are struggling, I am right there with you. We must band together and lean on each other and do our very best. And when we fail, we must forgive ourselves and move forward.

Thank you for following me on this journey and offering support and friendship. I am grateful to know I am not alone.

Love is a good salad. No seriously. I remember a time when I thought salad was for rabbits. In fact, I always referred to it as rabbit food. Except when I went to Olive Garden. And there I would consume bowl after bowl as I chased the oil laden leafs with bread sticks. I actually believed the lettuce cancelled out the bread. Geez! Even when I first began to eat healthy I avoided salad unless there was nothing else available. Well, that all changed this week(not including my very favorite cabbage salad which is really more like cole slaw). My husband has been eating salad before dinner each night. I think he does this because he likes to pretend he’s eating a fancy restaurant. He insists on croutons, real bacon bits and gobs of ranch dressing. Which is great for him since he burns about 10,000 calories a day installing flooring. I have to be a little more conservative with my additives. So it was last weekend I was short food stuff in the house and swiped some of his lettuces. What I ended up with was nothing short of superb and I’ve been eating it every day since.

Now aren’t you dying of suspense? What makes this salad so great? I mean, it does have green stuff in it and it used to grow on the ground. That doesn’t sound very good. Not like fresh hot french fries. Now those really hit the spot! Oh, just stop it. I’m fo shizzle(whatever that means). The best thing about fresh salad is how you feel about an hour after you eat it. If you skip the bread and cheese you will feel squeaky clean and ship shape. And isn’t that what we’re going for in trying to build a healthy lifestyle?

Alrighty then. Let’s get down to brass tacks. I am simply going to list my ingredients below. You can use the amount of your preference the main caveat being you should not use more dressing than lightly coats the leaves/veggies.

Romaine lettuce

Fresh spinach

Sweet bell peppers

sliced onion

tomato

grilled chicken (no more than 1/2 a cup)

balsamic vinegar

olive oil(used sparingly)

fresh ground pepper

a healthy sprinkle of salt

Throw all that stuff in a big bowl, dashing the balsamic/olive oil/salt/pepper on top and toss it all together. Then, eat it. The great thing about this salad is you can eat a great big bowl, completely fill your tummy and not consume too many calories. It’s got lots of vitamins and minerals and there’s enough fiber to keep your digestive system happy. It’s an all around winner! I eat this salad for lunch and then about 3 hours later, when I’m hungry again, I eat a hand full of nuts(pistachios, peanuts, or cashews) and I’m good until dinner. That makes for a very happy Margaret!

In conclusion, I’m just throwing this out there… I no longer hate salad. My very favorite thing about this salad(aside from the intense flavor) is that I can eat until I feel like my stomach will burst and not break the calorie bank. So get busy and try to make your own. Then, experiment until you find your favorite combination of veggies to lettuce. You could even get wacky with it and use *gasp* red leaf lettuce instead of romaine. Although I prefer the latter because of the crunch. Now hoppy eating my little rabbit friends!

Life offers up a steady stream of disappointment. We don’t get that raise we were expecting. Our child contracts a life altering disease. Evil, tone deaf musicians move in next door. And when we least expect it, we disappoint ourselves when the free cherry Kringle jumps out from behind our cubicle and stuffs its sweet gooeyness down our throat. It’s all so unfair.

We fight back only to get slapped in the face when said musicians accuse us of backing into their car. It matters not that they park behind our driveway in the middle of the street. We should have mastered the art of altering the earths gravitational pull, or at least run over our beautifully manicured grass in order to avoid them. Just think? We could have had normal, brownie baking neighbors, not these crazed, bass-thumping insomniacs. Mmm. Brownies.

It must be January. It’s that time of year when everyone gets depressed. While walking in my neighborhood this past weekend I saw a fellow winding up his Christmas lights. He had this sad, dejected, look on his face, like someone ran over his puppy. After all, nobody wins awards for removing their holiday decorations. This must be why I don’t like to put up lights, but I digress.

So how do we fight back? Do we eat more Kringle? Do we punch the neighbors? Do we seek a new job? Do we stew in our angry juices until we are forced to work out our problems through vicious stress-laden nightmares? (or is that just me?) If we feed it, disappointment festers and poisons our soul. Pretty soon we are sobbing in the ear of a co-worker who could care less(I was on the receiving end of this today). All because our expectations met reality and it was a much larger, much hairier beast than we ever could have imagined.

I say we should tackle disappointment head on. Poke it in the eye! Sock it in the gut. Seriously! Give it a knee kick to the groin. So it’s cold outside and your morning walk has been sabotaged? Kick up the Katy Perry and shake your money maker in the living room. So you indulged a little too much over Christmas. Treat yourself by skipping dessert today. Imagine how great you will feel tomorrow knowing you overcame that temptation. At my place of employment we like to call this kind of solution a “work-around” or “alternative solution.” What it really means is not settling for the status quo. So things didn’t go your way? That’s life, Baby. Bad stuff is going to happen. You are going to make poor choices. The car will breakdown. Sure, it’s a bummer. It’s a drag, Man! But it’s not the end of the story. So you weigh 310 pounds from stuffing your face with M&M’s, cookies and fudge for the past decade. Listen to me and listen closely…

Today is a new day.

Forgive yourself and move forward.

This is only a temporary setback.

Set a vision of what your life will look like 30 days from today if you make a healthy plan and stick to it. Then imagine yourself in 90 days and in one year. And when the losers at work tell you that donut is worth the calories, smile and nod(don’t eat it!!) and then make a bulls eye with their face on it and throw darts at it. (at home–not at work–your supervision might frown on that) Life is too short to focus on the infinite disappointments. I encourage you to go out and write success stories. Todays failure is a life lesson learned that contributes to tomorrow’s success. If you are reading this you are still alive, which means you have hope.

The moment I realized how important it was to forgive and love myself was the moment true change took root. I realized I loved myself too much not to try. Sure, part of that was wanting to prove to some people that I could do it. But honestly, I was mainly trying to prove it to myself. Yes, Margaret. You can lose the weight. It is not impossible. Yes, losers. You were wrong. Now I’m jogging circles around you(even on my bad hip).

Disappointment and pain can be the catalysts that lead to true life transformation. But only if we embrace and learn from them.

Fifteen years ago I let disappointment derail me. I nursed a broken heart until it was bloated and sick. Today I know better. Today disappointment challenges me to find a different solution, not the least of which is getting off my bum and riding my elliptical even when I don’t want to. I know that Spring is coming. It comes every year and I’m counting the days. I can almost see my pink Dogwood in bloom and feel the wind in my hair as I fly down Pershall Road on my bike. No amount of snow or ice can dampen that vision.

The first day of my new and improved life began on May 5th, 2010. I was sick to death of myself and my addictions and I took a chance that maybe, just maybe, I could change. Today is January 21st, 2014. Make this the first day of your new and improved life. I promise, you won’t be disappointed.

Every day is a gift you’ve been given. Make the most of your time, every minute you’re given!