Nervous Nellie and the Incorrigible Itch

It was an ordinary night. The treefrogs were chirping, her husband was snoring, and Nervous Nellie was tucked into her tidy bed with nary a concern. She was silently snoozing when suddenly her heart began to pound like the base drum at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert. Her skin moistened and her muscles tightened, like a rubber band stretched taut and ready to sting the thigh of some unsuspecting adolescent. A recurring thought ran through her mind; “I’ve forgotten the horseradish sauce and the hoagie just won’t be the same without it.” Nellie knew all too well that she was the only one who made decent horseradish sauce and it seemed inconceivable that those who attended the church picnic would not notice. Sure, she could buy one at the grocery store but it just wasn’t the same as homemade. The red digits on her nightstand reiterated that it was no time to be galivanting around the kitchen and so she convinced herself that it would wait until later in the morning. Still, her heart had just gotten to the part of the song where the lead singer “gives it away now”, and the sheets were like seaweed around her neck, and it felt like a bole weevil was boring a hole into the side of her temple. So she closed her eyes and silently prayed that the commotion would cease so she could get a decent night’s sleep. Except it didn’t. And she didn’t. And after 5 nights of Chili Pepper madness she was getting pretty darn tired of “giving it away now”.

Bubble Gum Rum

Have you ever dealt with chronic anxiety that seems to have no specific cause? Have you ever arm wrestled with lack of sleep and won the grand prize; chronic depression? Did you try to calm your mind only to imagine giant tree limbs falling on your house? Did you take so many deep breaths trying to calm down that you swallowed a spider? Take heart, dear reader! You are not alone, and the remedy is simple. Rum and bubble gum. But seriously, what does one do when one’s body rebels against good common sense? What does one do when the nights and days begin to blur into one crazy merry-go-round of dark and light with nothing but nausea in between? And what does one do when sanity skips town with a buck-toothed juvenile delinquent who has promised to introduce it to his inbred second cousin?

It’s simple, really. One smiles and says, “Howdy Cousin. That’s a mighty fine third earlobe you have there. Mind if I give it a tickle?”

Or, if you’re like Nellie, you develop and incorrigible itch. An ice cream itch that is. So not only does poor Nellie lay in bed at night humming horrible songs from the 1990’s and worrying about silly things like moles ravaging her iris bulbs, she now craves Chick Fil A ice cream every second of every waking moment that she’s trying not to fall asleep at her desk. And when not thinking about ice cream and how tasty it is, she is avoiding other humans because they might ask about the hollow look in her eyes or the agonized twitch at the corner of her mouth or the handfuls of hair that are accumulating in her bathroom trashcan because her nerves are so doggone shot.

But even though Nellie is dealing with a lot of internal combustion, she has one steadfast anchor of the soul; Jesus Christ. Even though the air popper stopped popping and the brain synapses stopped firing she can trust that she is never, ever alone in her suffering. She holds fast to the promise that the Lord’s portion is his people (Deuteronomy 32:9). She knows there is no God besides Him. He kills and makes alive; He wounds and heals; and there is none that can deliver out of His hand. (Deuteronomy 32:39). And when Nellie stands in the front yard and watches the falling stars at 1:52am while not sleeping and trying desperately to stop worrying about runaway trains, she praises God that she is never forsaken. She thanks Him for loving her and laying down His life for her and suffering unimaginable pain so that she could simply draw near to Him in times in these.

And Nellie knows this is only a season. And even if it isn’t there is nothing anyone can do to snatch her out of God’s hand.

Longan

So take heart, Dear Reader! If you are suffering with anxiety and depression today, you are not alone. More than that, you are deeply and desperately loved. Just like Nellie. Whose incorrigible itch found scratching when she did not eat the ice cream and instead enjoyed the sweet gift of homegrown Longans from a kind-hearted co-worker. (Thanks, Victor!) Because God knew exactly what she needed even when she didn’t. And what comfort could possibly be better than that?