I got in the wrong lane at the grocery store tonight. I hate that moment when you realize you will be standing in line for 20 minutes even if you switch lanes, and all you can do is suffer and stick it out. If you are in line with nice people you can chit chat and make small talk. But tonight was not that night either. The woman in front of me acted as if I had body lice. She wouldn’t look at me as much as speak to me. So when I dared to put my groceries on the conveyor belt of slothfulness she really got agitated. She clutched her basket as if I might contaminate it and I could see her jaw muscles clench. So I just held back and gave her some space. That is, until the man behind me, who was at least four sheets to the wind, began dancing and singing in line. This would have been cute if it was me. But he looked one step away vagrancy. But rather than grumble and pout I just put on a carefree smile. I had a lot on my mind today and I was trying not to let it all show. I really believe if you smile the feelings will follow.
So when I finally reached the cashier I was so happy. She was this sweet, pleasant girl who just smiled and greeted me as if I was her long lost cousin. “Hey, Ma’am!” She said. And I was filled with peace….until she said…. “Where’s the ice cream?”
“What ice cream?” I said.
“You need ice cream.” She said.
“Why do you say that?” I said. “Do I always buy ice cream or something?”
She just smiled as if she were stirring Kool-Aid in a commercial and beautiful children were holding hands and dancing around her.
“I don’t need ice cream. I’ve eaten a bowl of ice cream every night this week.” I said and pointed to my face. “Look at this face. Can’t you see how guilty I am? Guilt. Tee!”
And she just kept smiling, as if she was in on some secret joke that I just wasn’t getting. She handed me my receipt and said, “Have a nice evening.” And I was completely baffled and perplexed. Do I look like I need more ice cream? Sheesh. I still don’t know why she said that. Hm.
And then it hit me, maybe smiling like a fool attracts crazy people. Maybe I should stop smiling so much.
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