I have been off work for the past 5 days. I took some vacation time with the sole intent of doing something wonderfully relaxing. I had big plans…fishing by myself and catching a big bass, swinging on the porch and enjoying a cool breeze, splashing in a creek. I had been looking forward to my little vacation with great relish! But as it is with life, things don’t always go as planned. I won’t go into detail because that would make it sound worse than it really was, but instead of catching crawdads, I ended up running around town to doctors offices, meeting with school nurses and pouting over a pile of tomatoes.
Pouting over tomatoes, you ask? Yes. Silly, isn’t it? But we have so many tomatoes this year I have been giving them away. Still, we planted them with the hope that we could make marinara sauce. Unfortunately, it takes a lot of time, something I do not always have in abundance. With my hopes for frog catching shattered by mom duty, I surveyed the bags of tomatoes and decided I may as well stand at my kitchen sink for a day and make sauce. Boo hoo.
But isn’t that how it is with dashed expectations? We have this idea of bliss that gets drowned with a dollop of reality. So I made my sauce, and I made bread and I tried not to cry over the fact that I wasn’t squishing my toes in riverbed gravel.
My obligations as a parent require a great deal of sacrifice. Running children hither and thither make it nearly impossible to do anything substantial for myself. I’m not crabbing about it. That’s just the way life is. So when I collapsed into bed at 8:45pm on Saturday evening, exhausted beyond words, I felt a little depressed. I must really be old! No boot-scootin’-boogie for me. No rally-round-the-camp-fire. Just muscle-aching-weariness. And disappointment. Let’s not forget that.
So when the sun came up Sunday morning I seized the opportunity of a new day to do something just for me. I aired up my bicycle tires, grabbed a thermos full of water and hit the streets! The air was cool and utterly refreshing. I had my earplugs in and Switchfoot on shuffle. I pedaled like a crazy woman and stood up to fly down hills. I realize this lumpy middle-aged body looks a little goofy but I don’t care! I was just so happy for a little bit of “me” time. Riding my bicycle makes me feel like I am 10 years old again–coasting down a hill–and pretending to be a bird. It just makes me so happy! I spent two hours thanking God for blue skies, fluffy white clouds and mist rising off freshly mowed fields. Even though I couldn’t be in the country like I wanted to, I found a bit of country on Missouri Bottom Road to ride through and it was glorious!
I took my children to church and enjoyed worship. After the service I saw a friend who warmed my heart(Katie!) and was given a gift that both thrilled and encouraged me. Grace upon grace showered down onto me in such a way that I forgot all about my disappointment in not exploring the woods. We made a little trip to Columbia Bottom Conservation area to see the muddy Mississippi and ate at our favorite Mexican restaurant(Tequila in St. Peters). Then we enjoyed Fritz’s Frozen custard. I didn’t eat any but derived so much pleasure from watching my family enjoy theirs. I wish I would have video taped my youngest beastlet slurping his chocolate cone. It is a precious memory and the very definition of joy.
Today is Monday. It is a day of rest and reflection. It is a day to celebrate the joys in life that cannot be measured by money or time or location. If we can find a way to be happy even in the midst of disappointment; if we can learn to celebrate when ash rains around our ears and hives punctuate our weary flesh, I believe we will lead fuller, more satisfied lives. It’s not always easy, and it’s not always comfortable, but it’s my life. It is unique and beautiful and wonderful in ways I can’t put into words. Today I am grateful for a paid day off work–a labor free day. And it is glorious!
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