It’s How We Respond to Adversity That Really Matters

Adversity takes many different shapes. It is the empty bank account when the mortgage is due and the bully who takes pride in making one feel inferior. How we react to adversity says a great deal about our character.

Today I had the great privelege to revisit a time of adversity in my life. I went through a work situation that was extremely difficult several years ago. I don’t say that lightly. It was months of being brave when I felt like crumbling inside. Inevitably I resigned, unable to continue in a deteriorating environment. I felt like a failure. And though I have never regretted my decision it has always felt unfortunate.

Looking through the lens of experience I see that situation quite differently today. I wonder if I had the self confidence I do now that I would have responded differently. I like to think I would. I spend a great deal of time trying to encourange people facing adversity. I honestly believe exhibiting a positive attitude plays a great role in helping us to get through difficult situations. Instead of saying, “I can’t” say “I can” and try. You never know if you can if you don’t try.

Seven years ago I sat across a desk from someone with tears in my eyes bemoaning a co-worker who seemed set on getting me fired. Rather than bear up under it, I quit. It was the beginning of a time of great turmoil in my life. As I thought about it today I realized how far I have come and how much I have grown. In an interesting turn of events I had the opportunity to sit across the table from that same person under different circumstances and with a completely different outcome. I felt vindicated in some respects and also that I had come full circle. It was an opportunity to physically and spiritually experience resolution to something that has long troubled me.

We often ask why we must face adversity. It always feels unfair and unnecessary. But facing trials makes us better human beings if we learn from the experience. If we walk through the fire and live to tell the tale we have the choice to become bitter or see our lives as blessed.

I have a friend who inspires me every single day. She has faced great adversity in her life and lives to tell the tale. She lost a child. She was abused by her husband. There was a time in her life when she felt hopeless, like we all do at some point in our lives. She is a source of great strength to me because she has learned from it all and endeavors to share her life experience with others so they too can learn from her pain. She has the most beautiful smile and positive attitude of anyone I know and I love her for it.

Juxtapose this with a woman I knew 7 years ago who was divorced, bitter and lashed out at every person she met with venom. When she wasn’t complaining about how terrible her life was she was busy ruining the lives of those around her. She proved to me that bitterness is cancer of the soul.

I don’t have to ask myself which one I want to be.

Around 1:00pm today I hung my head at my desk and began to cry. I thought to myself, “I can’t.” Then I took a deep breath. And another. I lifted my head and said, “I can.” And I did.

Praise God! I am not a quitter anymore.

And while I wish I didn’t have to walk through so many valleys to come to this place in my life, I know that I would not be the same person without them.