Good Character is More Important Than Body Image

“Don’t let the fear of failure keep you from trying.” Hercules in a recent episode of Once Upon A Time

Last night I took a cruise on the world wide web in search of health and fitness blogs. One of the first sites I clicked on was JillFit, which is run by a fitness instructor who has been in the business since she was 15 years old. And one of the first posts I clicked on featured the infamous ab selfie where she opined about the pressure to have the perfect body in her chosen profession. And I will be candid, when I saw the picture of her, I was a little bit jealous. Because after giving birth to three children and losing 140 pounds, my belly will never look like hers. So when she wrote the following, I was a little confused.

“I am working to help women feel less shameful and less stressed about their eating. And actually like how they exercise and what they put in their mouths. Period.” – Jill Coleman

The ab selfie indicates differently. If a picture is worth a thousand words, that picture says to me that I am failing in my journey to better health. And it made me wonder if ever I met Jill Coleman, what exactly would she say to me?

I’ll admit I was a little discouraged after reading that so I switched to searching for inspirational blogs instead. That is when I somehow stumbled across “Your Fat Friend” and a blog post titled, “What it’s like to be that fat person sitting next to you on the plane.” As I read the blog I felt like a passenger in a car wreck. Because I have been that girl on the airplane and the memories are not at all pleasant. And at the same time I felt like she was telling me I’m a jerk because I’m not fat now, and I don’t want to be squished into a seat next to her.

As I write this I am eating a plate of cauliflower. It’s not exactly what I wanted to eat for lunch(grilled cheese please!) but it is tasty nonetheless. And I can’t stop thinking about the blogs I read last night and how both authors would respond to my choice of nutrition. In one respect I want to apologize for losing the weight and on the other hand I want to apologize for not working harder to lose more.

Several years ago I had the privilege to meet Kathy Smith, exercise guru extraordinaire. I told her my story(the cliff notes version) and she invited me to have coffee with her. We had a really nice chat wherein she expressed to me that I needed to tell my story on a national level because “Margaret, you are amazing. People don’t just do what you have done. And I think you can make money telling your story. What you need is a platform!” And then I shared with her the full story about how Jesus gave me hope and helped me to lose the weight, and how I seek to help others with the help I have been given, and she just kind-of blinked at me because I don’t think she knew what to do with that. She seemed to say, “Give help away for free? But why would anyone do that?”

I’m used to being the odd man out. I never won any popularity contests in school. In fact, I should have won, “Weirdest Girl” several times over. But I’ve come to terms with who I am, what my goals are, and why I persist on my journey to learn discipline. The pressure to look a certain way to conform to the fitness industry unsettles me, and so does the lack of discipline that leads to obesity. Besides, how does the physical standard apply to someone who is paralyzed, like Joni Tada or someone of less fortunate means who can’t afford to buy fruits and vegetables or a good pair of walking shoes?

So this is just my humble opinion, but living a healthy lifestyle should be free. It should be free of pressure to look or feel a certain way. It should be free monetarily. And most importantly, it should be free of guilt. I shouldn’t feel guilty that I’m not a size 6 and I shouldn’t feel guilty that I’m not a size 26. Nobody lost the weight for me. I did it for myself. I had to make choices–hard choices–not to eat Taco Bell and drink chocolate milk shakes. I had to force myself to exercise when I didn’t feel like it. I had to set goals and then work my plan to make it happen. And I’m still doing that today.

I write this blog because I really want to help people who feel hopeless and helpless. I’m not selling anything. I’m just testifying to the truth as I am living it. Losing weight didn’t make my life perfect. Just as I had happy days as a heavy person, I have sad days as a thinner person. But through it all I am learning about the importance of being honest and kind. I would never bicker with someone who told me they were happy weighing 310 pounds. However, I would say that is not a healthy weight for anyone because it’s true. And you will certainly never see me post an ab selfie, though I’m not ashamed of my flabby tummy. After all, I have three kids and I’ve earned those stretch marks.

This blog is a safe place for people of all body shapes and sizes. It’s where I share my hopes, my fears, and my failures. It’s also where I share what I have learned on my journey so far. So when people see me and say, “Hey, Margaret! You look great!” and I get all nervous and awkward, that’s because body shape will always be an uncomfortable subject for me. Because the truth (and I say this a lot in real life) is that it doesn’t matter what I look like on the outside, as long as I have a pretty heart. And as long as that is my goal, I know I still have an awful long way to go.

On March 29, 2016   /   The Journey   /   1 Comment