So I was cruising the internet this morning, my face glued to Facebook like some kind of zombified drone, when I happened across a friend’s feed and saw this “hilarious video“. It was funny for a minute. My son chuckled over my shoulder and I laughed too. I laughed in that way people do when they see something true and totally disturbing and don’t know how else to respond. Go ahead. Follow the link. Watch it and come back. This post will still be here.
Okay, now that we have the same point of reference, I want to tell you what I really think about the attitude behind this video. I used to have this attitude. It’s actually really fun. Until you are forced to deal with reality in the form of another pair of too tight pants. Tight pants are my nemesis. The Moriarity to my Sherlock Holmes, The Borg to my Captain Pickard, the Blob to my Shawnee Smith(if you haven’t seen it, watch this quick recap. It’s totally grody and rad if you are from the 80’s as I am). All of that to say, “funny” videos that make fun of exercise and eating a healthful diet really tick me off.
Why, you ask? Well, if you are still reading and I haven’t completely offended you, stay with me here. I will explain my position. While on the surface, poking fun at the hard work of living a healthy lifestyle is funny, mockery and sarcasm are hateful. People, by nature, like to justify their behavior. So you like to eat McDonald’s fries. Great. Eat it. But we all know there is nothing healthful about McDonald’s french fries. Let’s set aside the whole controversy over pink slime for just a minute and focus only on the white potatoes(pure carbs) that are dipped in hot fat(that, incidentally, slows down the way the body absorbs carbohydrates) and cooked until they are mush. We all like to eat them. They are tasty. But they are truly bad for the body. They slow down digestion(is that why they cause indigestion?) and cause the body to gunk up and work furiously to get rid of them. Just like candy bars. And cookies. And pizza. This video is a glorification of the worst kind of excuse: I don’t feel like eating right or exercising so I’ll make fun of those who do.
Why put off today what I can do tomorrow? Isn’t that frequently our attitude? I mean, I really need to clean my bathroom. But I’m tired. And my kids are getting on my nerves. And I really dislike scrubbing the toilet. And I had a hard day at work. And I have jelly beans I need to count. 
Let’s be real for a minute, I just don’t feel like cleaning the bathroom. I can either go ahead and clean it and get it over with or I can put it off until it gets so bad I can’t stand it any longer and then clean it. For that matter, procrastinating over cleaning the bathroom is a bit of a luxury. Preparing a report for my boss, on the other hand, is a whole other ball of wax. Procrastinate over the bathroom and it stinks like little boys who missed the toilet. Procrastinate over the report and risk my paycheck. Either way you look at it, procrastination is not good.
With all of that in mind, many people make a New Year’s Resolution. They look at the new year as an opportunity to change bad behavior or make new healthier habits. One of the most popular resolutions to make is to lose weight. Obviously our culture understands that each generation is getting fatter and lazier. The weight loss industry capitalizes on our foibles and gladly takes our hard earned money every January. That is why my recent trip to Aldi produced an entire aisle of workout equipment (Yes, I did stand there staring and salivating, but that’s another blog post). It’s there every single year. Because people like to make promises to themselves that they can’t keep. But if you are serious, if you really want to loose weight, if you want to be healthy, I would like to know why you would wait until January to to get started? And why, when you fail to live up to your own goals, do you resort to mocking those of us who choose to take care of our bodies?
And that is why the video offends me. I’m just as full of excuses, procrastination’s and resolutions as the next gal. But if you ever catch me glorifying them, please find me–poke me in the eye–and direct me back to this post. It’s wrong. It’s hateful. And I don’t like it. Not even a little bit.
Next time…. Necessary First Steps For Living a Healthy Lifestyle
Leave a Reply