Commitment

What does it mean to be committed? Is it wishful thinking? As in, I love him until he leaves his stinky socks on the floor? I love her until she gains 50 pounds, but now she’s not attractive so I’m finding someone more physically appealing? So many young people get married filled with the feeling that love can conquer all. Love is a wonderful feeling until it isn’t. More often than not we wake up and realize we married a human being and that person isn’t perfect. In fact, they are so less than perfect that we can’t deal, so we bail.

The Righteous Brothers famously sang, “You’ve lost that loving feeling.” She probably lost it because he refused to change a diaper or pick up his beer cans. But seriously, feelings fade.

We all make choices in life. Some informed, others carelessly. Living intentionally takes work. We all know people who live carelessly. They may be functional but we wouldn’t trust them with our lives. That is why we respect doctors and policemen and women. They have made a commitment to their profession. The Hippocratic Oath is not taken lightly, neither is the oath an officer takes when he commits to uphold the law. Making a real commitment requires that a person know themselves well enough to determine if they can keep it. Many don’t take the time to do that. I think that is why we are attracted to people that display integrity. It is a rare and beautiful trait.

The quick and easy way is, well, easy. Marketers would have us believe Excedrin fixes a headache. Well, if you really think about it, it does nothing but mask the symptom. It doesn’t actually cure the headache. It’s wonderful because it makes the pain go away, but as anyone who has ever had a headache, and didn’t have access to pain reliever can attest, they do eventually fade. I’m speaking in general terms of course and have the utmost sympathy for people with chronic migraines, but our culture has made a habit of promoting the quick and easy treatment. For that reason, many people don’t slow down long enough to really think through their choices. Hungry? McDonalds. Heartburn? Zegrid OTC. A really smart person should put heartburn medication dispensers at McDonalds. They’d make a fortune!

Commitment requires thought, dedication and perseverance. It means not quitting when circumstances take an unexpected turn. I still find it fascinating that I bear within me the strength to make a decision and stick to it. Especially when I feel so wishy-washy. When I think through the chain of events that brought me to this place in my journey, I am completely amazed. It all started with pain. Pain is an incredible motivator. My heart hurt. I hated being fat. I don’t mean I hated it in the sense of, “I hate humidity.” I loathed everything about obesity. I still do. It is what motivates me today. I never, ever want to go back to the way I was. It also amazes me how education and routine helped me achieve my goals. I changed my habits and followed my routines even when I didn’t want to. I was fueled by my hatred of obesity and I channeled that into practical ways I could rid myself of fat. When people tell me they don’t have the motivation this is what I think, “Well, you don’t hate your blubber enough yet.” It’s easy to not think about it. I did that for years. I put gross amounts of chocolate into my mouth and purposely ignored the consequences. I didn’t want to deal with my mess. And I was a most certainly a mess.

This applies to anything in life, not just weight. I used to curse a lot in my youth. I grew to hate it. So I made a practice of not cursing anymore and then not using foul language became my new normal. That is the other point I would like to make, commitment leads to good habits. I am in such a habit of eating right and exercising that I am not tempted by unhealthy foods as I used to be because I know the consequences. This past week I had a really bad day. I’m talking stress, drama, and aggravation galore. I brought home cookies for my kids and I ate them all(3 big cookies). About 3:00am I woke up with a tummy ache and sat hunched over the toilet for 2 hours trying not to puke. It was a great night, let me tell you. My body is so used to being filled with good fuel that it literally did not want to digest that crap.

If you want to make lasting changes to the way you live, make a commitment and stick to it. Know that when you achieve your goals you will be proud of yourself. Start small. Tell your husband you love him, even when you don’t “feel” it. Smile and the feelings will follow. (I still can’t believe that works, but it does.) If a situation is miserable, change the way you respond to it. We are not responsible for anyone but ourselves. Above all else make a choice to love. Love others. Love yourself. And don’t quit. Nobody ever achieved lasting success by cheating. And when all else fails, ask for help. Find a person you can share your heart with. You’ve heard the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” We are often at our best when friends help hold us up. The only thing I can say about that is, find a friend who shares your ideals and you won’t be disappointed.