“So I arrive at the conclusion
Love isn’t made
Love doesn’t sell or pay
But we buy and sell our love away”Jon Foreman
It was a warm and sunny day in Missouri when I walked into the thrift store. It was also two days before Christmas. The store was all abustle with shoppers and employees rushing around in mass confusion. I tried to be calm. I was looking for something specific and it does no good to get distracted by all the stuff (treasures?). And then I saw it. The most amazing sight! A fluffy, wooly fleece. It was beautiful. I picked it up and began to hug it close to my heart. It was so soft. In that moment, it was everything my heart desired. But there was no price tag. So, I asked an employee for help. She said she would sell it to me for $4.00, but another employee said, “We should ask the manager what the price should be.” So, she took the fleece from my arms and disappeared into the back of the store. A few minutes later she returned and said, “The manager said you can’t have it. He is going to buy it.” Then she shrugged and walked away.
I am pretty ambivalent about the holidays. The mass commercialism is off-putting. I celebrate Christmas because it is the birth of Jesus and my faith centers on his life, death and resurrection. But many people celebrate Christmas for the gifts. They love to buy and sell and give and receive….stuff. I have struggled in recent years to reconcile receipt of Heaven’s greatest gift, namely Jesus, with the giving and receiving of socks, electronics, and cash. What does that have to do with faith anyway? And while I suppose there are Christians who will rationalize it, I bear up beneath the weight of it and participate in a ritual I’m not entirely comfortable with. It’s not that I don’t love my family or friends. I do. And I love to give and receive gifts. But there is something tainted about using the birth of my Savior to rationalize spending money we don’t always have to buy stuff we don’t really need.
Ferdinand and Babe steal the alarm clock from Farmer Hoggett.
I drove home from the (religious) thrift store with a singular hatred in my heart for the manager that (stole) refused to sell me the fleece. And I thought of Ferdinand the duck (from the movie, Babe) running around screaming, “Christmas means carnage!” He was, of course, referring to the day Farmer Hoggett and his family consume a roasted duck (one of his friends). Poor Ferdinand. All he ever wanted was to be a rooster. But ducks can’t cock-a-doodle-doo, can they? (Though he certainly tried.)
I love the movie, Babe. I quote from it frequently. The farm animals all seem to understand “the way things are.” People…eat pigs. But Babe doesn’t settle for that. He wants to be a sheep-pig. He loves his adopted mom, Fly, and strives to provide value to the farm to which he belongs. He befriends the sheep after he saves them from wolves (wild dogs) that attack Farmer Hoggett’s flock. He speaks their language. And they come to love each other. The scene where he weeps over the loss of Ma, the flock matriarch, is one of the saddest in the film.
Mrs. Hoggett prepares to eat the Christmas feast.
In much the same way Babe longs to be a sheep-pig, I long for a world that refuses to buy and sell love. The brokenness around me causes a deep chasm of pain in my heart. The gift of love should be free and given every day in a burst of self-sacrifice. Instead, many of us walk around feeling lonely and sad because of the very real pain in our lives. Some of us have broken marriages. Others endure that first (or second or fifth) Christmas without a loved one. Others stare at screens hoping to distract themselves or even to connect with other humans. We long for more. We need hope. And a big screen television won’t solve that problem. But if I’m honest with myself, neither will a soft and fluffy fleece.
A friend came to visit me last night and we were talking about a rather sore situation in my own life; marriage. She is twice divorced and has never known a faithful husband. I told her a husband should be a man and fight for his family. He should never abandon his wife and child. She argued that if they don’t love each other, they should divorce. She said to force a man and wife to stay married is to make them hate themselves and each other. She said, “Don’t use God to force people to stay married. Let them divorce.” I told her, “I disagree,” as I got very angry.
I view marriage as a covenant promise through the eyes of faith. I see marriage through the lens of the bible as illustrated by Jesus’ sacrifice for the church. I see divorce as the ultimate failure to forgive. And I told her, “I believe love is a choice–not a feeling.” I have endured that dark night of the soul and I speak to the power of God’s love to bring about reconciliation. I see love as it should be–not how it frequently manifests in our broken, sinful world. I see a baby in a filthy feeding trough surrounded by cow dung and smelly beasts and a man dying on a cross for the sins of the world. And I can almost hear his voice speaking on the mountain, “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.”
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way, it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8
I have decided to forgive the unscrupulous store manager, though I doubt I will shop at that store any longer. I did pray for him and for the people who work for him. God knows. God sees. I forgive because I am forgiven. I love, because I have been loved. It is not because I am super righteous or holy. It is not because I am seeking favor or trying to be good to get into heaven. Indeed, I probably deserve to have the fleece stolen considering all of the ways I have sinned against others in years past and present. But the love of God has changed me. It has filled me with hope and joy and peace in a way nothing in this world ever will.
Christmas does not mean carnage. Christmas actually means love. Love came down and dwelt among us.
Great reading you! My dad always said there should be two holidays, Dec. 25 and June 25. Christmas in December, “Merchant’s Day” in June.
This is one that had me thinking alot. Love reading & reflecting on it!