Archive for the The Journey Category

I’ve been a little under the weather for the past week. It started with a virus–thanks to some bratty kids who live to drag home nasty germs from school and throw them at their mother. My youngest likes to give me kisses, which are sweet, but bring to mind the fact that love actually is a weapon.

So a sore throat turned into bronchitis and after spending the weekend on a ladder ripping siding from my house in a cold breeze, my body just can’t keep up. So because I know everything about living a healthy lifestyle, here is my top 10 list of things one should do when one is sick.

1) Rest – It goes without saying, if you rest, your body will fight infection more efficiently and heal faster.

2) Avoid junk foods. Don’t clog up your body with all kinds of crap. Your liver and kidneys are trying to get the germs out. They don’t need copious amounts of sugar, fat and salt glopping everything up too!

3) Drink plenty of fluids. Water is your friend. The more you drink, the faster you heal.

4) Exercise in moderation, but when a simple virus turns to infection, you might need to cool it on the cardio. You need all your white blood cells fighting infection, not trying to recover from a strenuous workout.

5) Lemons! You know the old saying, when life gives you lemons….make lemonade. Well, I don’t really like lemonade so I just eat the lemons. It clears your sinuses and helps heal the errant sore throat. Lemons are a super food. High in vitamin C and on the cover of every tea or cough drop wrapper targeting sick people. So just go straight to the source!

6) Do not go to work and breathe all over your co-workers. If they get sick, they will be crabby with you. My place of employment is a hotbed for cooties. Even the cooties have cooties. And we do not need more cooties infesting my workspace. Take your cooties and go home.

7) Don’t complain to everyone that you missed Easter because you had bronchitis. It’s pointless. When people ask, “Did you have a nice Easter?” Just say yes and fake a smile. Don’t tell them you stayed home in bed wheezing. They don’t care. They just stare at you blankly and say, “Oh.” And then move on with their life. And then you’re just aggravated that they wasted their time and yours asking stupid questions to which they didn’t like the answer.

8) Definitely don’t write a blog about what one should do to get healthy when you’re not following your own advice. Hey, it’s not my fault there was ice cream! It attacked me and threw itself into my car and then, I didn’t want it melting all over so I ate it. There! Are you happy?! I’m happy. Ice cream makes everything better.

Fine. I really wrote this list to tell myself what I should be doing to get better. It has nothing at all with helping others. I just want to feel better now. So with that in mind, I’m turning in. Sleep is truly the only thing better for the body than ice cream.

For most of my life I was extremely self-conscious about my appearance. I constantly compared myself to other women. I wished my hair were as shiny or my waist were as thin. I wished my face was pretty and that my feet weren’t so big. I spent half a lifetime coveting what I could never have. No matter how much time I spent wishing I looked like someone else, I couldn’t. I would always just be me.

What is our obsession with body image? We have our own ideas of beauty and chase our tails trying to conform to them. What is it about that special piece of clothing that makes us feel pretty or sexy but contrarily, the outfit that makes us feel icky? And why does it matter? I find it curious the way people view and instantly judge each other. We think by looking at someone we know their situation. Too fat? Stop eating so much. Too thin? Eat more. Yellow teeth? Get a tooth brush already! We stand prepared to make everyone conform to our idea of beauty and yet we hardly conform to our own. Every single woman I know thinks she’s fat even if she’s not overweight. Why do we do it to ourselves? Who are we really trying to please? How do we stop the madness?

I was looking at a picture my son took of me the other night. I freely admit that I never in a million years thought I would get down to the size I wear now. I am smaller than I was in high school. But when I looked at that picture, all I could think was critical thoughts.

I won’t share what I thought here because I don’t need strangers picking apart my personal appearance. It’s bad enough I do it myself. But it reminded me of a picture I took with a friend of mine last year while riding bikes on the Katy Trail. I was so proud to have my picture taken with her. I really didn’t care that we were in bike shorts and bulgy. Sorry, unless you are anorexic, no one looks good in spandex. I love my friend and couldn’t wait to post the picture online. My love for her overrode my self-consciousness. I wanted to encourage others to get out and be active. But immediately upon viewing the picture she said, “Please don’t post that. I don’t like the way I look.” Boo. I was legitimately sad. I actually felt like she was taking something beautiful away from me. It’s the same way with people who refuse to have their picture taken because they don’t like the way they look. One of my aunts is a gorgeous beauty who likes to take pictures but really dislikes having her own picture taken. Why? You guessed it! She doesn’t like the way she looks.

My youngest son frequently tells me how beautiful I am. He compliments my clothes and jewelry. He hugs me and seems genuinely happy to lay eyes on me. I bet he would feel the same even if I was purple and wore a hot pink bikini. He simply loves me. I used to think people only liked me because they felt sorry for me. What a silly thing to think! People like me for who I am inside. The same way I fall in love with people. I find something I have in common and pursue a relationship with them. In the end, it really doesn’t matter what they look like. I love the person inside, not their perfectly shaped knees or properly proportioned shoulder blades. Therefore I think it’s high time I adjusted my critical eye to something a little more important…like my attitude! It’s time to stop beating myself up because I can’t crunch my tummy fat away. I can’t exercise myself to perfection no matter how hard I try so how about I stop trying?

From now on I resolve to love myself for who I am. I resolve to smile more, laugh at myself and just be more comfortable in my own skin. I’m going to stop worrying about my frizzy hair and knock-knees. Because, really. Who cares? In the world of Margaret, I’m one of the coolest people I know. I should celebrate that!

Henceforth and from this day forward, when someone compliments me on my appearance I resolve not to argue with them or explain away whatever I think it wrong with my appearance at that moment in time. I resolve to simply smile, say, “thank you!” and then let it go.

Today if you are struggling with your self-image, remember, your body is a gift. Sure, you could waste time beating yourself up because your nose is a little more bulbous than you care for, but let me ask you a powerful question, why would you want to? Does it help anything to have a negative self image? Let me answer that for you… Nope!

Sometimes we forget the power of our words. We recite the old adage, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” But the truth is, words can hurt us. Very deeply. They seep into the sore places in our hearts and infect with pain that can have a long lasting impact.

Life can be very stressful. We work hard to bring home a paycheck, only to give it away to a bill collector. We watch the people we work with go on exotic vacations while we settle for our camping trip in the woods. We sip hot tea because we can’t drink coffee. We sigh, grieve a little, and move forward because self-pity is ugly.

I always try to see the beautiful things in life. I may never climb a mountain but I enjoy talking to people who have. I met such a man last week while collecting donations for the American Diabetes Association. He showed me pictures of the mountains he has climbed with his wife. He talked about practice hikes and adjusting to altitude. Our conversation was filled with wonder because I love to imagine what it is like to do something so foreign to me. Interspersed into that conversation, however, was his adoration for his daughter who he likes to take with him on these hikes. She has Cerebral Palsy. I might add that she was a footnote in the conversation. He didn’t complain about her, but rather complimented her strength and beautiful character. I walked away from that conversation thinking about mountains, not the hardship of dealing with a disabled child.

How I wish every conversation was about hiking in the mountains. Yesterday I had such a great day and came home excited to see my family. Granted one of my children has strep and is covered head to toe in a miserable rash(scarlet fever) and we are all at risk of catching the highly contagious virus. Still, I was happy to see them. My youngest was particularly whiny and had a difficult time wrapping his mind around what I had prepared(bought fully cooked) for dinner. I was very patient with him and tried to help him come around to eating—which he finally did. It was obvious that he was tired and cranky and I know how it feels to have a bad day.

Still others in my family were not so accommodating. Let the crab fest begin! Suddenly barbs were flying around the house like darts, poisoning every person they touched. At one point I said, “Let’s not be unkind to each other. I understand we don’t feel well and we’ve all had a long day, but there’s no sense wounding each other with our words.” My pleas fell on deaf ears, however. The barbs escalated to darts, which escalated to knives and pretty soon everyone felt slashed to ribbons. How cruel words can cut! As the mom I endured this onslaught as graciously as I could, wrapped everyone up for bed, and quietly retreated to my room for solace.

It takes great strength to control ones tongue. I’m not always very good at it. Sometimes I feel like I have this wild stallion in my mouth that is just rearing to unleash hell on anyone in my direct vicinity. I hold tightly to the reigns for a while but then a catalyst in the form of insult or injury collides with my will power and I’m undone. Then all I can do is grieve over the trampled feelings I leave in my stead. So what can I do to keep it from running free?

I have learned that sometimes the best thing I can do is be silent. Not just in hostile situations, but in every day conversation. The art of listening seems to be lost. We live at a frenetic pace and are in such a hurry to get in our quota of words out that we miss the heart of the people around us. If you are guilty of unleashing your words on the unsuspecting masses, pause and consider the following, how will your words help the person you wish to speak to? Will they heal or destroy? Are they even necessary?

We are so often guilty of wounding those we love the most in this world. We bring our tired and crabby home and take comfort that these dear ones are bound to us and cannot escape our verbal tyranny. We treat them like mats, rubbing our filthy paws on their hearts and then trotting off for more prey. How we take this love for granted in the worst possible way, as if love were a plastic ring and we can simply discard it and buy another.

Today, consider your words carefully. Let them be seasoned with light. Spread hope like a handful of seeds and watch the beautiful garden that will grow around you. But when your heart is filled with venom as black as ink, try to find a way to keep it from spilling out by remembering this…. Your words have power to do great harm, but they also have power to heal. Choose your words carefully.