Archive for the The Journey Category

I walk along the stony path. On one side I see flowers swaying in the breeze. The sun shines on their golden faces and I feel their joy. But one glance later, my eyes are drawn to the view to my right—the valley of bones. Death is there—and suffering. But something glitters there too, something shiny and tantalizing. The more I look at it, the more I wonder. The sparkle says, “Come and see!” Magic and mystery abound, and before I think to forcibly resist, my heart is inflamed with curiosity.

I pause on the path. I see the dead and rotting things around the glittering object. But surely it will not harm me. Maybe it is even worth dying for—this pretty thing—this sinfully sweet object of my affection. A centipede crawls over bones of a hand whose flesh has blackened in clutching it, but an irresistible longing for the object consumes me. I rationalize my need for it. No one will know. It will be my secret. I mean, it’s not as if I’m not hurting anyone.

I had the great pleasure to visit with a childhood friend recently. We grew up together in the church and both of us walked away from God in our youth. We rejected the rigidity of the Christian faith, especially in regards to all of the wonders we saw in the world and wanted to experience. We rejected rules and people who would rule over us. As I stood talking to him on his parent’s front porch and considered our journeys, I felt so thankful that we survived. Talking to him was like coming home, but the walls of that house are marred by the painful memories of so many things we regret.

At one point our conversation turned to the topic of addiction. The meth epidemic in his community is a real problem. He told me about the ruthless behavior a meth addict resorts to when in desperate need of a fix. “It makes me sick.” He said. “I hate it.”

I told him that unfortunately addicts are broken people just trying to satisfy the longings in their hearts.

He looked at me and said, “Yeah, but they do terrible things.”

I can’t disagree.

But I do sympathize with addicts. The overwhelming desire for that glittering object drives one to madness. They sacrifice beautiful, tangible things like family and friends for a fleeting physical experience and excrete only waste and heartache.

At the heart of every temptation is a promise; namely that our souls will be satisfied. So why do we keep reaching for it once we find out they are not?

I had dinner with a friend recently who was despairing over her inability to lose weight. She exercises regularly but has not seen the results she longs for in part because she is compelled to overeat. She told me, “I can’t stand my body. I’m sick of it! I want to be able to move freely and feel better but when I start to eat something savory, I literally cannot stop. I have no self-control.”

So here is the good news I get to share with you today: You can stop. You can break free. “I can’t” is not the end of your story. At least it doesn’t have to be.

As I stood with my friend on his parent’s front porch, he said something that struck me as beautiful. “You know, Margaret, my parents really didn’t ask so much of me back then. They asked me to be home on time to eat dinner, to not drink and smoke, and they asked me to be respectful. I don’t know why I couldn’t do those things.” I silently pondered this, and because I am a parent I thought to myself that the reason they did this is because they loved him. They gave him rules to keep him safe because he was precious to them.

But he wanted the glittering thing. He rejected their love and chased after it only to find it did nothing but bring him and those who loved him, pain.

It’s strange how we can look back on our youth and see so clearly the mistakes we made knowing that without them we wouldn’t be who we are today. Still, we struggle when tempted to make the same or similar mistakes. We parlay with our vices, integrating them into our lives and justifying their hold on us. We choose to believe we are powerless. But we are not. And love is the only key that will truly set us free.
We must love something or someone more than our vices. It is the only thing that will save us.

I have recently been crushed beneath the weight of a terrible temptation. Every cell of my body screams out for it. I dream about it. I think about it constantly. Some days a weariness comes over me and I know I have no strength to resist it. Still, I cry out to God for help because I know His love can save me. This temptation would be the end of me. If I give in to it, my life will be ruined. But if I choose to love God more than this fleeting pleasure, He will be pleased to save me. I hesitate to write too much about it because it has been the great distraction of my life. I speak of it only because I know there are those reading this who can relate. But I would encourage you with these words; love can save you if you let it. It is not hyperbole. God’s love is real, and he longs for nothing more than to wrap you up in it and give you His peace.

There have been days lately where I was tempted to believe God’s love isn’t real or that he is not good because of this thing that is driving me crazy. My physical and mental anguish would eclipse these great truths, but not unlike the glittering object I want so badly to reach for, I choose to reject this lie. God is good, and his love is real. He proved it on Calvary and so I have no reason to doubt it. He sacrificed everything so that he could draw me close to his heart. All I need to do is lean into him and accept his love and grace.
And this is the heart of what I want to share with you today; dear reader, reach out to Him. Love Him more than you love anything else and not only will he save you from temptation, He will satisfy the deepest longings of your soul. This is the key—when any kind of temptation arises, we can run to Him and ask for help. If we are willing to submit to His rules, He promises to deliver us.

Now it’s curious to me how some people reject this kind of love. They say, “I don’t want to believe in or love God. For one thing, He’s restrictive. I want to do what I want to do.” In fact, someone close to me is struggling with a terrible addiction and when I asked him if he wanted help, he said yes. But when I told him he could give his struggle to Jesus to break the chains that were binding him, he got very, very angry with me. He said, “Margaret, you act like it’s so easy to just give it all to God and He’ll solve everything. It doesn’t work that way.”

But it does. I have chosen not to reach for that glittering object. I choose to believe what the bible says is true: “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” The only reason my friend is not saved from his addiction is because his faith is too small. I know it doesn’t always feel good to resist temptation, but I also see the end result of my sin if I give in and that is death! Instead I choose life in Christ!

The disciples cried out when the storm was raging, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing.” And he said to them, “Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?” (Matthew 8:25-26) They were in the boat with the creator of the waves, what in the world did they have to be afraid of?” They had a disconnect; a fundamental misunderstanding of who God is.

Why did the power of sin (addiction to food) hold sway in my life for so long? Why could I not deny my lusts and desires for it? Because I did not truly believe that God could deliver me from them. I did not trust that he was strong or mighty to save. Instead, I rejected his love and clung to my weaknesses. I thought God was punitively restrictive. He didn’t want me to do “fun” things. But when I chose those things I learned they were traps that tormented me and caused me to be a slave to them so that I served them at the expense of any real measure of happiness. It wasn’t until I realized that I wanted to be set free and desired the power those things had over me to be broken that I allowed Jesus love to save me. It is a beautiful thing to be set free from the power of sin, not just being forgiven for my sin, but the freedom to not sin when I am tempted to.

Jesus did that for me. And He can do that for you too.

What saves us from temptation? The knowledge that there is something better that will satisfy the deepest longings in our hearts. When we come to realize that the thing we are tempted by will never satisfy us, we have hope that we can find the strength to resist it. What breaks the chains of slavery to sin? Love. God’s love. When we come to know that there is a love so unimaginably pure that will wrap us up in joy that floods our senses, we will resist temptation. We will cry out to God, “Help me! Save me!” And by His grace, if we believe that He can and we let Him, He will.

“Will you walk into my parlour?” said the Spider to the Fly,
Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy;
The way into my parlour is up a winding stair,
And I’ve a many curious things to show when you are there.” – Mary Howitt

Why do we think we are strong enough to contend with our vices? Why do we parlay with them? Cajole them? Entertain them as if they were dolls at a tea party? Why do we say to ourselves, I am mighty because I won the last battle and have therefore conquered once and for all? Do we not know that vice condescends to laugh at virtue when it locks arms with pride? Or have we forgotten to look down at our scars and remember the barbed hooks that once held us captive? Do we not consider how our previous captor gladly entices us under the guise of impotence in order to bring us under its thrall once more?

Last night my son (aged 9) accidentally hit his hand on the wall that divides the kitchen and living room as he was walking down the hall. It’s not hard to do because our house is so small. In fact, it feels like we are always bumping into things. Whether it is another person, our dogs or, (case-in-point) the walls, we seem to live in a perpetual state of collision. Now the dear reader must understand that my son had a particularly difficult day yesterday and was not in a great mood. In fact, we had spent considerable time talking about unfortunate circumstances, anger, and consequences. And so I must admit that I was rather dismayed by my son’s response to the haphazard smacking of his hand against the ubiquitous wall. He hollered at it (as if it were a demon), screamed, “You stupid wall!” and then karate kicked it with his unshod foot. Then, instead of merely cradling his bruised hand, he was now hopping up and down on the uninjured foot and hollering like a cat with buckshot in its hide. Since I am mother of the year I laughed out loud and said, “Son, you are not Chuck Norris.”

Because had Chuck Norris kicked that wall, we all know who would have won.

Now maybe you are reading this and you don’t know who Chuck Norris is. That is unfortunate but easily remedied. Thanks to Netflix and Youtube, you too can discover the phenomenon that is Chuck in all his Jiu Jitsu wielding wonder. From MIA to Walker Texas Ranger, you will be inspired and amazed by the sheer might of his fists as he smacks, breaks and generally pulverizes every human being who dares oppose him (with the exception of Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon, whom he graciously let win). Chuck Norris is a mighty warrior and no one can stand against him.

Dear reader, you are not Chuck Norris. You may think you are Chuck Norris but that is only because you don’t know any better. You may post memes on your social media feed that indicate you are as strong and tenacious as Colonel Braddock, a Vietnam Vet who was tied up by his ankles while a rat tried to gnaw off his face, but those are just pictures. You may tout your gnarly bear-ness as you scowl at your obnoxious co-worker who burps like a billy goat, but you cannot actually turn into a bear like Chuck does as Jebidiah McKenna in Forest Warrior. In fact, you only wish you could spray the enemy with bullets like Lonewolf McQuaid in The Uzi. Yes, you may think you are something, but I promise you, you are not. There is only one Chuck Norris and you are not him.

Because if Chuck Norris met a cupcake in a back alley, you can rest easy tonight with the knowledge that he would not enter into a conversation with it. He would not pelt it with questions. He would not even ask it if it felt lucky, punk! He would simply demolish it with one kick to the gonads. And to be certain, he would never even think about going into said alley if he thought for one moment he would not win that fight. Because Chuck Norris is not just strong, he is smart.

So why do we run down dark alleys to fight battles we have lost before? Why do we chase goblins who have made a practice of mincing us like meat? Why do we mock our vices with promises, flippant jokes, and harangues? The vice is just waiting to clobber us and—if we give it an inch—rest assured it will take a mile.

And now that I’ve clichéd my poor reader to death, I just want to say that I am foremost guilty of these cloistered consultations. I parlayed with Christmas cookies in December and found out I am not Chuck Norris either. So here we are three months post-holiday and I’m still trying to lose the 7 pounds I gained. I thought I was feisty! I thought I was wiry and lithe. Alas! I am just soft-bellied Margaret getting hog-tied and walloped by my sugar-addiction one again. It is an exercise in madness if ever there was one.

So for me (and others who are not Chuck Norris!) here are a few healthy reminders on this journey to learn discipline:

All the sense in the world is nonsense if we do not cultivate a healthy fear and a vibrant loathing for that thing which would slay us.

We must not fall prey to the devil’s prime strategy, that horror of the same old thing. We play at novelty like a cat plays with catnip. But the idea of perpetual novelty is a trap, not unlike the spider’s lair, where we will be bound head to foot and robbed of our freedoms. We don’t have to come up with a new strategy. Stick with what works.

The horizon is littered with the bleached bones of those who have fallen around us. We need only discern their peril in order to avoid the same fate. We need not goad them, but we should at least study how and why they lost.

Freedom does not come free. A sacrifice by nature pinches a person. But that small pain is but a shadow of the chains that once held us in the dungeon of despair.

Be the person you want to be. Each choice is but a tally in the game of life. Remember that no one wins the game by letting the other team win just because they gave up one (or 10) goals.

Remember that you only get one body for your whole life. Your body is a precious commodity. Treat it like the temple it is.

And finally, please know that you are not an island (no matter what Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers say!). We live in community with other people and our actions and inaction have consequences. So ask for help. Find a mentor. Make a new friend. Be a friend to another. And avoid those people who play the fly. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life!

In short, remember Chuck Norris. You may not be him, but you can aspire to be him when you grow up. And if you have trouble visualizing this, watch MIA. You won’t regret it.

“I don’t want to go to Heaven. None of my friends are there.” Oscar Wilde

A friend of mine at work recently asked for help in crafting a note to her department to commemorate the Easter holiday. The catch was, it could not be implicitly religious. For some reason I thought this was a somewhat funny request and so I sent her a snarky email. “Well,” I said, “Good luck with that. Easter is by nature a religious holiday.” She sent me a note back some time later and told me she felt terrible that so many people had been offended by her request. I actually wasn’t offended. I just thought it was funny. Easter without religion. As if!

In a similar vein, I have never paid much attention to Lent. So, when it began in February this year I gave it little thought until a co-worker and I were talking about Ash Wednesday. She told me that she and a friend have an annual tradition where they mock the religious folk who go to church that day and get ashes put on their foreheads. She mocked the sign of the cross and some of the pious things “they” say. “It’s all a bunch of nonsense,” she said. “As if putting ashes on your head actually does something.”

Everybody has their own idea of what religion is and does depending on their personal history, belief system and prejudices. Whether it be from television or the Jehovah’s witness that shows up on our doorstep trying to give us a magazine. We all form our assessment of reality based on personal experience. Our understanding of religion is no different. Preconceived notions abound and we aren’t casually convinced we should believe differently. I mean, sure, The Exorcist was scary, but we don’t actually believe there is a real devil. And if there was one, wouldn’t he have more important things to do than possess a little girl?

Still, we all have our little curiosities about faith. I watched a Hallmark movie recently called, “Apple Mortgage Cake” about a single mother who was down on her luck and 6 months behind on her mortgage. She was a very moral person who volunteered at a charity and gave career advice, even though she did was unable to personally find work. She made a practice of donating her famous apple cake for various community events and, upon being notified of her impending eviction, decided to start selling the cake in order to save her family home. At one point in the movie it appeared she wasn’t going to make her goal but she said something to her teenage boys along the lines of, “We just have to have faith.” And then, because it’s a Hallmark movie, a newspaper reporter offered to write an article about her plight, she became an overnight media sensation and they received hundreds of orders in a matter of hours. See? They just needed faith! But as I watched them bake all those cakes in one night I had to wonder… faith in what? Faith in religion? Faith in the apple cake recipe? Faith in the boyfriend who gave good advice? It wasn’t exactly clear, and all three contributed to the house being saved in the end. (sorry for the spoilers!)

I saw the Easter Bunny at Wal-Mart today. He was handing out suckers to children. Many of my good friends will celebrate Easter with a Sunday brunch. Fully bellies and family commemorate the holiday along with visuals of tulips, daffodils and the famous Easter Lilly. A lot of people will even put on nice clothes and go to church for an hour or so. They might hear a story about a guy who was born a long time ago, who claimed he had the power to forgive sins, maybe did some magic tricks and then died. Some zealots claim he rose from the dead, but who really believes that? Was Jesus the first zombie? Everybody knows there is no such thing. The Easter eggs will be consumed over the course of a week, then pitched, and the basket full of candy will diminish as it accumulates around the waistline. Everyone will relax until Memorial Day rolls around and they have another excuse for a big meal. Besides, if there is a god, he certainly doesn’t want me to starve!

What does it really matter if God is real? Who cares if there’s a heaven or hell? Maybe your religion is Cardinal Baseball. Who could fault you for that?

But maybe you are reading this and you have real questions. Maybe you recently found out there is an 80% chance you won’t be around this time next year. Maybe you just stood over the grave of the person you never thought would die. Maybe all your faith in miracles was crushed when you didn’t have apple mortgage cake to save your family home. Maybe you are dealing with crippling anxiety or back pain or a horrible auto-immune disorder that promises to make the rest of your life particularly miserable. Maybe you do have questions but asking them means giving legitimacy to something you have always considered mockable. Maybe all your friends and family will laugh at you if they found out.

But maybe no matter how much you try to squash them, your niggling doubts won’t subside. Maybe you have only your tears to keep you company as you lay awake at night wondering if he or she will ever come back, will ever hold you again, say “I love you” again. Maybe the disappointments in life have stacked so high that you feel crushed beneath the weight of them.
Maybe, just maybe, this blog was written exclusively for you.

“He will swallow up death forever; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces, and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth, for the Lord has spoken.” Isaiah 25:8

What if the bible isn’t full of religious mumbo jumbo? What if the bible speaks of a loving father who yearns for relationship with wayward children? What if it speaks of justice for an oppressed people with instructions for how to care for widows and orphans? What if the greatest commandment ever given was to love your neighbor as yourself and then describes a neighbor that does not share your ethnicity? What if the bible actually speaks about a God who is willing to take off his royal robes, leave his throne room, enter into the suffering of his people? Doesn’t that kind of God sound more like, well, a hero?

But maybe all you’ve ever seen is people who pretend to be “righteous” but are actually hateful. Maybe all you’ve ever experienced is judgmental bigots who condemned behavior they didn’t agree with. Maybe you have only ever been on the receiving end of words that broke your heart, justified abuse, or made you feel as if you could never, ever be good enough. And so, you just stopped trying.
Well, I have really good news for you. The bible is for people just like you.

A co-worker shared with me last week that she planned to attend church services for Easter but she is wary of the people, and so she sneaks in and out and speaks to as few people as possible. She said, “It’s because I don’t know everything.” I smiled and said, “I too am easily intimidated by religious people because I don’t know everything either.”

But I do know a good place to go when I have questions.

In the book of Luke (7:36) the author describes Jesus receiving love and care from a woman who is a “sinner.” The religious men of that day give him a hard time about it. Jesus forgave her sins and these guys sat there and said, “who is this, who even forgives sins?” And they hated him. The religious people hated Jesus. And so they figured out a way to kill him.

In the gospel of John, Jesus talks to his friends and says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” The world’s peace is not real peace. It is fleeting. By that I mean that we think a thing will satisfy us, but it doesn’t. We think the cigarette will satisfy our craving, but it returns in a short time. We think food will satisfy us, but our hunger returns. We think the drug will numb our pain but it wears off. We think the new car will remove fear of breaking down, but then we have an accident.

In the gospel of John, Jesus speaks with a woman at a well (John 4). “Jesus said to her, ‘Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

I want that kind of water, the water that delivers eternal peace. In a world of constant violence, who doesn’t want peace?
Jesus is not afraid of your questions. He knows the hungers of your heart. He knows your anguish, your fears and your history. And he says come, drink, and you will never be thirsty again.

There is someone I love very much who tells me that every night he lays down to sleep and asks God to forgive his sins but he doesn’t actually believe God can do that. He lives with deep regret and the dark shadows of wounds he has caused and born in the course of a long life. But the bible says God can and will forgive sins, even the worst sins, because he loves us. And he proved it on the cross.
Easter is the day when people who love Jesus celebrate the moment he rose from the dead after being killed for the sins of everyone in the world. If I was sinless, I wouldn’t need a savior. But I do. And maybe you are reading this and realize you do too.

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.” – Jesus