Archive for the The Journey Category

I love my family. I love my friends. I love to eat. Combine these three things and BLISS! My aunt(Mickey) and uncle(Mike) offered to let me pick green beans at an impromptu stop in the country on Sunday. They know I love green beans. Honestly, I think I could eat them every day and not complain. Because of their generosity I have free, fresh green beans all week. Steamed with butter, garlic and onions, they are heavenly.

My friend Sheryl inspired me to make salsa a few weeks ago. I cooked and canned a few pints and am slowly savoring my way through it. She also encouraged me to try guacamole. She said avocados are very good for the body. In my wildest dreams I would never have tried that weird, green fruit but I love my Sheryl and honestly, if she asked me to try fish heads, well, I would make a gallant try. I know she would never steer me wrong. So I made my first attempt at guacamole this week and Hooray! It was very yummy.

All of this to say, I continue to struggle with my eating. I want to eat too much too frequently. But I have resolved to try to eat healthier. And then my friends and family surround me with love and give me two of my favorite foods, of which I can pretty much eat what I want. Tonight for dinner I feasted on green beans and guacamole. And it seems like a strange combination but I love eat and they were very tasty. As I ate I thought about the people I love, who love me, and my heart was warm.

I was on “Mom strike” tonight because I needed to rest from my hectic life. Mom strike involved not making dinner for my family. They had to scrounge. And that was good for them. I made homemade bread for my husband(I have wholly converted him from store bought fluffy-no substance-pretends-to-be-bread) and I made guacamole. And I am happy.

Today was a long day, but significantly better than the days that preceded it. My boys are running around the house laughing and playing. No stress. No commotion. We have been just hanging out. Randy is telling me about the book he is reading, “Happy Happy Happy” by Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty fame. He has decided to be a duck hunter. Maybe I should go on Mom strike more often?

Tomorrow we see Switchfoot. We are SO excited. So I am heading to bed early with a few raisins as my sweet snack for the day. I ran this morning and did not hurt my hip. And, my husband is happy with the cake I brought him from work, that I was given and was somehow able to smuggle home without eating. Food, family, and friends makes for a happy happy happy Mom.

It was 5:45am and pitch black. I was 30 minutes into my bike ride and climbing the most difficult hill on my course when my bike started to wobble. I heard the flap-flap-flap that indicated my tire was flat. Nearly 5 miles from home and no spare inner tube on hand, I was forced to call my husband. He is not a morning person and is always fearful about bad things happening to me on the wild streets of North County. I knew I would never hear the end of it. Need I add I was frustrated and embarrassed? An older gentleman walked by and stared at me. “Flat tire, eh?” No, I just like standing on the side of the road in the dark holding a bicycle on Tuesday mornings. Catch you next week same time?

I endured the lecture on the drive home. I tried not to cry but did not succeed. At the time my biggest concern was that I didn’t get my full workout in. My theory is, when in danger, pretend there is no danger. But as I fully processed the misfortunate chain of events I began to think about all of the terrible things that could have happened to me. Omitting the crimes that could have occurred to me at the hands of passersby, I thought about the hill I had just flown down before the tire went flat. If the tire had gone out 1 minute sooner, I could have lost control and been thrown into traffic. After the cycling accident I had last year, where I broke my front teeth, I probably never would have stepped foot on a bike again. That is if I lived through it.

Last summer I was riding at Creve Coeur Lake Park when a man, who was not paying attention, nearly crashed into me. I swerved off the path and caught myself before I crashed. He was not so lucky. He swerved and fell on the pavement. He was not wearing a helmet. He hit his head and broke his “good” hip. I held a rag on his head to stop the blood from gushing out of his cranium while we waited for the paramedics. I listened as he called his wife and learned he had recently endured a hip replacement. That is the kind of do-over no one wants to experience. We could not have been going more than 5 miles an hour. You can imagine what happens to someone who loses control while careening down a hill on a bike at 25 mph.

Still, I was really irritated about the flat. My husband was mad at me. My workout was ruined. I have to buy more inner tubes(I had recently replaced another flat). And that is IF my husband lets me ride my bike again. I sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way to work(no calling in sick!) thinking about the long day ahead, all the while simmering until my pot was ready to boil. That was after wrestling with my youngest beastlet just to get him out the door to Grandma’s. What a fantastic way to start the day.

I had two choices this morning. I could stomp into work, scowl at everyone and continue to simmer about my bad fortune or, I could embrace my blessings, be thankful I’m not in the hospital or the morgue and move on. I chose the latter. I gave my irritation to Jesus. I smiled at the people at work and I thanked God I was alive to tell this tale.

I opened my devotion book when I had a break at work. Joni Eareckson Tada wrote this for September 17: “Somebody’s watching. When a young mother in her wheelchair perseveres through loneliness, when an elderly widow keeps leaning on Christ, when Christians in dark corners of the world hold on to God’s grace, the entire spiritual world stands on tiptoe, wondering, ‘How great their God must be to inspire such loyalty!’ If you’re alone, thinking no one cares, don’t give up the battle. Remember, somebody is watching, somebody cares. And you might even hear the rustling of their wings.”

We all choose how we respond to adversity. To be honest, I like to embrace the occasional bad mood. But peace comes when we let go of our anger and frustration and move forward.

Those who know me have heard me talk about a woman I worked with at The Fed. Her husband left her for another woman after 20+ years of marriage. She was resentful and bitter and lashed out at everyone who crossed her path. She always wore a look on her face that was reminiscent of someone who regularly sucked on lemons. I believe she had every right to be angry. But when anger festers, it can grow into a monster. I choose not to take that path. Any time I consider it, I think of her.

May God always grant me a grace-filled perspective. Even over trivial things like a flat tire.

I woke up tired and sore this morning. And weary. Did I mention weary? And I did my Saturday routine and then I suited up and ran out the front door. I didn’t feel like it. See, I’m a failure. I keep goofing up with food. But I decided to keep moving anyway. Today is a new day.

The sun sparkled down like a fountain and my eyes blinked at its brightness. I walked up the first hill and down. I jogged a little. And then I saw it….the blue sky against the brilliant green trees. As the tree rats scattered and scampered I caught my breath. I was cold and it was exhilarating.

The shadows that had gathered under my eyes dissipated. My heart leapt. Everywhere I looked there was light. I soaked in every sun drop and every cool breeze. And I forgave myself for yesterday.

This morning was high noon in the valley of the shadow. I ran down Florissant Road praising God and singing. I waved at cars and at my neighbors. They half-heartedly waved back. “There’s that crazy girl again,” they thought. I’m still moving. I’m not giving up. Today is glorious. How about you?