Archive for the The Journey Category

Ferguson has been the favorite city of tornadoes in recent years. The monstrous weather events have ripped through my town and left carnage in their path. First, we were hit in 2011. My house was spared but many of my neighbors suffered great loss. My sister had a large oak tree in her backyard that was ripped from its roots and tossed onto her house. The devastation to her neighborhood was brutal. Many of us were glad when 2011 was over. We rebuilt and moved forward.

Fast forward to 2013. Our family now possesses a weather radio. We sat huddled in the basement and listened to it while another tornado ripped past our house. It was eerily reminiscent of the last event only we felt more seasoned, more prepared to deal with the aftermath. We had purchased a gas stove so we could still cook and therefore the next few days without power were not so stressful. Again, my neighbors rebuilt and we all moved forward.

But tonight as I drove through my neighborhood I realized that though the downed trees have been removed and all the buildings have been repaired, the landscape has been forever altered. The sun sets through trees that are broken and missing limbs. Other trees that helped mark January Wabash Park are completely gone. The horizon looks like a row of jagged teeth that have been broken by someone with brass knuckles. It is heart-wrenching. There is no denying we live in a place that has been altered by tragedy.

Personal tragedy is no different. Often when life takes a turn for the worst we shrink into our shells and try to hide our heads, as if we should be embarrassed about our pain because it has made us ugly. All we can see are the broken limbs and missing pieces of ourselves. We think life should have turned out differently. We think we should be more like our friends, who have “perfect” lives and no inherent defects. Somehow we begin to question our value because all we can see is what we think our lives should be and not what it is.

This world is very often a sad place. Bad things happen to good people. Pain interrupts our lives. Tragedy strikes. Sometimes it is preventable, but often it is not. Sometimes it is all we can do to just put one foot in front of the other and keep moving, even if it is aimlessly toward the freezer for more ice cream.

If pain has altered the landscape of your life, ask for help. Meet with a friend and seek encouragement. Go for a walk. Eat ice cream, if it helps. But don’t give up. You can rebuild. You can forge ahead. While you push forward make sure to focus more on your blessings rather than the suffering you are currently enduring. Perspective can make the difference between despair and hope.

Right now things look pretty bleak in Ferguson. The skyline is not what it once was. The leaves are gone and winter is bearing down on us like a hungry lion. We feel weak and unable to run another step. But winter does not last forever. Before we know it Spring will come and with it buds, flowers and new growth. The greenery will cover what was once broken and life will once again “spring” forth. The same is true with personal pain. If we choose to learn and grow through our suffering, we will come out the other side stronger. More importantly, we will have the hard-won knowledge that comes from surviving, and that is both poignant and priceless.

I woke this morning with a heart both light and full. Today I celebrate God’s goodness with family and friends and remember a year filled with goodness. I am grateful for Jesus, my best friend. I am grateful for my family. I am grateful for my good job and wonderful boss. I am grateful that I continue to walk through difficult times and learn and grow. I am thankful for those of you who read this blog and encourage me with your stories of perseverance and hope. Today, may you all experience joy and love. And remember where our good bounty comes from. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Oh, and I am celebrating with the most wonderful salad in the world, of which I am sharing a picture.

In case you so desire to replicate:

Romaine lettuce

Shredded kale

spinach

cucumbers

shredded carrots

green peppers

I also made buttermilk sugar cookies with buttercream frosting. And while I won’t be eating those, I am thankful to share them with my family, who will delight in every morsel!

This morning I woke up early and checked the thermometer outside. I usually don’t go out if it’s below 20 degrees because no matter how many layers I put on, it isn’t enough. The thermometer was in a good mood today so I layered up and out I went.

Many people refuse to exercise because it’s hard and it’s boring. I admit, the first few weeks I walked my 310 pound body around the block it was torturous. But I had an end goal in mind. I wanted to change my life, not just my clothes size. I wanted to lose the weight and never, ever gain it back. Sometimes we must do hard things to learn what a beautiful place this world can be.

This morning the first thing I did was step out into the brisk morning air and look up to the sky. I looked for my favorite cluster of stars(The Big Dipper), and for the moon. The sky never bores me. I am entranced by the stars and the changing shape of the clouds. I am mesmerized by the sky as it changes moment by moment while I walk. Often it is pitch black when I leave and the sun is shining amber rays over the horizon as I approach my house. This ever changing canvas makes exercising wonderful.

Not only does the sky change in the morning while I walk, but the landscape around me changes day by day. Because I live in St. Louis we have this thing called seasons. I get to watch my neighbors flowers sprout and bloom. I watch shrubs grow and thrive. I watch trees bud, flower, and flush green before fading to rusty hues in the Fall. I see squirrels scamper and bark. I watch Raccoons bound into sewers and possums freak out because they can’t decide whether to run or, well, play possum. Oh, did I mention I’m exercising while experiencing all of this? I almost forgot.

It’s winter now and I’m one of a handful of people still working out in the outdoors. This morning my friend Laura shouted “Hey Margaret” from across the road and I shouted “Hey” at a man riding his bicycle. My morning “work-outs” often feel more like an escape into an alternate reality where the world is beautiful and stress melts away like hot butter, not an awful chore to be endured and loathed. I have been teasing my boss about his new personal trainer. She is working him so hard he lubbs into work like a puddle of warm cheese. That’s not my idea of fun. And if I want to maintain this healthy lifestyle, I’m sure as heck not going to be miserable doing it. (He’s on his umpteenth trainer in the 7 years I’ve known him) Sure I have off days. Everyone does. But most days I am tickled pinker than the sky to be outside and moving.

You might think losing weight and getting healthy is impossible. It’s not. Start small and work your way up. Tomorrow try 10 minutes and in a month try 20. Whatever you do, don’t languish in your house where the only exercise you get is between the couch and the pantry. This world is filled with wonder. Go out and see it. I dare you!