Hope and Comfort for the Brokenhearted

Hopelessness is powerful feeling that must not be underestimated. One who has lost hope walks through this world without the reassurance that something better is just around the corner. They can’t see the silver linings around murky clouds or rainbows poking through leafless trees. They see only the dark and gloomy sky sprinkling pain on broken dreams.

I had lunch with a work acquaintance yesterday who appears to have lost hope. I saw dangerous shadows in her eye that were all too familiar. I knew that had we been outside a work environment she would have shed tears. She has endured health problems, heartbreak and loss that I personally can’t comprehend. In these moments of acute suffering there is nothing I can say that will salve such wounds. So I listened and tried to show how much I care.

I read a blog yesterday by Russell Brand. He’s not someone I particularly admire or respect but I identified with what he wrote about addiction. He wrote about how he longed for the days he was curled up around the heroin that numbed his pain. He articulated how every day he was sober was a struggle. He went on to say each moment was only one moment away from relapse. He never used the word hope, but I believe hope is what keeps him from relapsing. I believe hope is the glue that binds all our broken pieces together and enables us to climb out of bed in the morning. It is one reason, maybe the main reason, I love Jesus. My hope in Him keeps me sane.

I lost my beloved dog, Hodges, last week and it was very painful. I am adjusting to the house without his constant clamor but it feels like an amputation of the spirit. He is gone but I remember, often acutely, how great a presence he was in our lives. He no longer tries to cuddle me while I attempt crunches. He no longer follows me from room to room. I feel guilty for scolding him for tripping me all the time. I remember when he was younger and bounced like Tigger(from Winnie the Pooh fame) and wrapped his whole body around me out of sheer bliss at my presence. I have yet to meet a human who loved me so unconditionally. The void he leaves is like a gaping wound. We miss him. And we will never see him again on this earth. That knowledge is extremely painful. His loss leads me to wonder how I will manage the death of my parents or, God forbid, one of my children.

It’s easy to say, “Focus on the happy memories” when life is sunny and bright. Suffering taints our hearts like a slow poison. If we don’t find the antidote, we are lost and floundering in a world that doesn’t care how much we hurt. My antidote is Jesus. The hope I glean from my Bible comforts me when all else fails. Yes, faithful friends comfort with their kind hearts and gentle souls, but my best friend is the greatest comforter of all. I know some of you think me strange. I am strange. To be in love with an invisible God is kind of like living in a science fiction movie. But He is more real to me than the nose on my face, than the hair on my chinny, chin chin, than the pain that blossoms in my often wounded heart. For I am a sensitive soul who wishes my heart had a few more calluses.

Today if you are sad and floundering in pain, if you can’t find your way out of the darkness, if life’s harsh realities are squeezing your guts, don’t lose hope. Reach out to your friends or family, to your beloved pet(who loves with reckless abandon). Then pull yourself up by the bootstraps and move forward. And when all else fails, call out to Jesus. The Bible says He is the great comforter and I have found it to be true.

Fighting the Good Fight

Sometimes I get so frustrated with myself. This struggle to stay healthy fights against every compulsive instinct in my flesh. I see other people thin and trim and eating whatever they want and I get angry. So I work through the anger and push forward. Personal discipline is one of the most challenging of disciplines. One is forced to confront their own history, their physical desires, and the emotional issues that drive behaviour. I do truly miss the days I could eat and not analyze, or feel guilt, or worry about every single thing I put into my body.

But the many blessings of exercise and eating healthy far outweigh the struggle. When I run up a flight of stairs, when I feel my heart racing and the sweat pouring and get that rush of adrenaline, I remember how fortunate I am to be young and have the option to be healthy when so many people do not.

Despair is a powerful feeling that can swallow us whole. There are days when I fight it with every fiber in my body. I refuse to give up, to give in, to surrender. Even when my heart is breaking over my poor choices, I continue to pray and fight the impulses that wreak havoc in my life. This is my constant thought process: I can. I will. Don’t give up!”

Today if you are struggling, I am right there with you. We must band together and lean on each other and do our very best. And when we fail, we must forgive ourselves and move forward.

Thank you for following me on this journey and offering support and friendship. I am grateful to know I am not alone.

Salad is not Stupid

Love is a good salad. No seriously. I remember a time when I thought salad was for rabbits. In fact, I always referred to it as rabbit food. Except when I went to Olive Garden. And there I would consume bowl after bowl as I chased the oil laden leafs with bread sticks. I actually believed the lettuce cancelled out the bread. Geez! Even when I first began to eat healthy I avoided salad unless there was nothing else available. Well, that all changed this week(not including my very favorite cabbage salad which is really more like cole slaw). My husband has been eating salad before dinner each night. I think he does this because he likes to pretend he’s eating a fancy restaurant. He insists on croutons, real bacon bits and gobs of ranch dressing. Which is great for him since he burns about 10,000 calories a day installing flooring. I have to be a little more conservative with my additives. So it was last weekend I was short food stuff in the house and swiped some of his lettuces. What I ended up with was nothing short of superb and I’ve been eating it every day since.

Now aren’t you dying of suspense? What makes this salad so great? I mean, it does have green stuff in it and it used to grow on the ground. That doesn’t sound very good. Not like fresh hot french fries. Now those really hit the spot! Oh, just stop it. I’m fo shizzle(whatever that means). The best thing about fresh salad is how you feel about an hour after you eat it. If you skip the bread and cheese you will feel squeaky clean and ship shape. And isn’t that what we’re going for in trying to build a healthy lifestyle?

Alrighty then. Let’s get down to brass tacks. I am simply going to list my ingredients below. You can use the amount of your preference the main caveat being you should not use more dressing than lightly coats the leaves/veggies.

Romaine lettuce

Fresh spinach

Sweet bell peppers

sliced onion

tomato

grilled chicken (no more than 1/2 a cup)

balsamic vinegar

olive oil(used sparingly)

fresh ground pepper

a healthy sprinkle of salt

Throw all that stuff in a big bowl, dashing the balsamic/olive oil/salt/pepper on top and toss it all together. Then, eat it. The great thing about this salad is you can eat a great big bowl, completely fill your tummy and not consume too many calories. It’s got lots of vitamins and minerals and there’s enough fiber to keep your digestive system happy. It’s an all around winner! I eat this salad for lunch and then about 3 hours later, when I’m hungry again, I eat a hand full of nuts(pistachios, peanuts, or cashews) and I’m good until dinner. That makes for a very happy Margaret!

In conclusion, I’m just throwing this out there… I no longer hate salad. My very favorite thing about this salad(aside from the intense flavor) is that I can eat until I feel like my stomach will burst and not break the calorie bank. So get busy and try to make your own. Then, experiment until you find your favorite combination of veggies to lettuce. You could even get wacky with it and use *gasp* red leaf lettuce instead of romaine. Although I prefer the latter because of the crunch. Now hoppy eating my little rabbit friends!