I have decided I will always fight for who I am and refuse to be defined by others. Historically I have caved to others opinions of me. I have wrapped myself in pretzels trying to be what they wanted me to be. This began in grade school when I was not widely accepted by my peers. I suppose I didn’t fit the societal norm or maybe I was just different. I thought something was wrong with me so I tried everything I could think of to fit in. As I have grown I have learned to embrace my differences. My unique talents serve a purpose that only I can provide and there will always be people in this world who take issue with that.
This morning I saw a woman in the office who is tall, leggy, lithe, and blond. She looked stunning and instantly I thought, “I would kill for that body.” And I looked down at my dumpy pants and plain white blouse. And I mentally assessed my saggy tummy and flappy arms. I have tried every strength training exercise I could find to rid myself of these flaws. Guess what? Nothing short of plastic surgery is going to rid me of them. I will never be tall, leggy, lithe or blond(unless I dye my hair). But that does not make me inconsequential. I see too many women obsess over their appearance and subsist in a world where they feel their value is diminished because they don’t look like the cover of Vogue magazine. I can think of one person at work specifically who is bubbly, energetic and whip smart, who makes a point to degrade her body every chance we talk. And yet she is widely regarded as one of the thought leaders for my company. Honestly, who the hell cares what she looks like?
Women, control what you can control and let go of what you can’t. If you feel unhealthy, make a plan and start working to get healthy. You may never look like Cindy Crawford, but that does not diminish your value as a human being. Embrace your differences! Challenge the world’s viewpoint that pretty is everything. Be unique. And spit in the face of Anna Wintour! Stop fighting a war you are not equipped to fight. Beauty is not everything no matter what L’Oreal says.
There are a couple of hags(who are not physically ugly) at work that made a point to make my life difficult yesterday. Deep down I think they are insecure and petty. Only insecure and petty people attack others because they have an innate desire to elevate themselves. I see through that façade. I watched them attack my opinions and skills and then start in on the abilities of a co-worker I highly admire. I saw their true colors immediately. Ironically, the person they chose to malign stopped by my cube late in the day(unaware of the opinions of the hags) and reminded me that all personalities(Drivers and empathetic leaders) are necessary in this world. If everyone were nice and polite the business world would screech to a halt. Maybe that is true, but prudence, respect and kindness go a long way towards earning loyalty, and associates who feel valued and respected will work their tails off (leaders take note).
Character defines a person, not beauty or status or stature or wealth. Some of the loveliest people in this world are overlooked simply because they do not look the way the world would choose them to. While actions speak louder than words, honorable character will often be subtle, like iced tea with a hint of raspberry. But when pressed, character always outshines the most beautiful body, no matter how sexy the dress or the body of the person wearing it.
I couldn’t find a picture to adequately define good character but I found this story. We should all live like Jordan Rice.
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