I read the headline with sadness and morbid curiosity: “Ben Affleck checks into rehab after Jennifer Garner stages intervention.” It has become almost cliché to read about famous people falling prey to their addictions. For Mickey Rooney, it was gambling. For Liberace it was money and possessions; most notably, his piano shaped pool. For Elvis it was fame–exacerbated by drugs. We often point fingers at these faulty figures while we nestle into our complacent beds; ignoring our own ill-natured habits of which we are so fond. We reason that we are not so negligent as them; using comparison to other people as the scale by which we measure virtue. This faulty standard plagues society like a slow growing cancer. It ripens in our cells; undetected and therefore undeterred. We are dying but we don’t want to acknowledge the disease.
I am not sure of the exact moment when food became a vice for me. If it were my only vice, that would be bad enough, but even now I consider it is the most visible, and one with which I will always be contending. Was it my mothers homemade chocolate chip cookies that caused my sugar addiction? Was my anxious and insecure nature–present even in childhood–that was responsible for driving me to food as a source of comfort and stability? Was it the absence of my father–who worked nights and long hours to provide for our family? Even now I consider my perpetual dependence on gorging to calm my nerves, and feel remorse. I really consider myself no different than Robert Downy, Jr., who became addicted to drugs at tremendously young age. No, I didn’t have my picture splashed across the newspapers, but I did go to prison; the prison of my own body. In fact, the only reason I confronted my toxic relationship with food was because the food I devoured began to devour me.
People are always looking for the quick “how to” approach to fix their most obvious deviancies. Companies capitalize on this and gladly take our money; promising health, wealth, and peace. If we were only thinner, we would be happy. If we were only more focused, we would make more money. If we were only more mindful and kind, we would achieve inner bliss. But our compass is off kilter. We have neglected truth and become comfortable with lies.
The most notable evidence of this is the recent report released by a Pennsylvania grand jury which details the sexual abuse of children by Catholic priests. We rightly squirm with horror when we realize the injustice perpetuated by those we are told we can trust. The Catholic Church has favored liars and abusers over innocent children and used God’s name to absolve them from guilt. Then they decided that as long as they locked the truth away, they could pretend it never happened. But it did happen. It is happening. And an intervention must be staged.
It is bad enough when we pretend that we are not diseased, but when our disorder causes harm to others we need someone to intervene. We need someone to say, “You are sick! You must stop!”
I recently engaged with someone on social media on the issue of the need for secure borders. The case at hand was the death of Mollie Tibbetts by an illegal immigrant and how it is being leveraged by some as an argument for stricter border control. Many conservatives will argue that stricter border laws will make us safe but I argued that safety is an illusion. My son was assaulted by an 11 year old in our subdivision the same day I made this comment. The child that pounded him is a US citizen. In fact, the popularity of crime shows on U.S. television alone should prove this narrative false. Still, someone took issue with my comment. Tim said he would concede that Christians “could possibly be worse without a Sky Wizard watching over their shoulder,” but they are often so hypocritical that they are not to be trusted. And he’s right. 
Christians are hypocrites, but so are people who don’t follow Christ. Religion doesn’t make us good any more than going to McDonald’s makes us a hamburger. Following Jesus aligns us with what is true, not necessarily human perfection. Still, Jesus is the only hope we have for escaping our deadly disease.
I posit that the disease that afflicts humanity is far more serious than location (citizenship in America versus every other country). I would even go so far as to say we are cursed, mainly because the Bible calls sin a curse–the punishment for which is death. Death is a just and fitting reward for sin in all its various forms; child molestation, alcoholism, and even gluttony. I spent far too many years lamenting my weight as unsightly and uncomfortable because it was easier than the truth. But it was only when I faced the truth; namely, that I loved food more than God, that I was able to accept His help in breaking out of my prison.
I accepted Jesus as my Savior when I was a child but I did not make him Lord of my life. I continued to seek after and to serve lesser gods. Food. Self. Fantasy. Romantic love. I didn’t really see a problem with committing sins as long as nobody knew about them. I was an insufferable sneak. Also, I could go into the virtual reality of my mind and do pretty much whatever I wanted. This began at a very young age and I decided that as long as I confessed on Sunday morning before I took communion, there wasn’t really a problem with my behavior. I have since come to know that there was a fundamental flaw in my logic; namely, God saw my heart and it was ugly. Worse, He let me have what I truly wanted–everything but Him. Because God hates sin and he will not dwell where He is not wanted.
Jesus addressed this in his famous “Sermon on the Mount”, as recalled by Saint Matthew in chapter 5 of his gospel. He spoke of the law, i.e. the Ten Commandments, and said, “I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.” He continued, “You have heard that it was said to those of old, You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgement. But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.” (Matt. 5:21-22 ESV) This is a startling indictment for the Christian. Our unrighteous anger is the same as murder. If that is true, how can any of us possibly escape judgement? Jesus is basically telling us that we all deserve hell and that our only hope is through the atonement that was made on our behalf–namely, that He bore the full wrath of God the Father on the cross and that his sacrifice is the only means by which we can be saved. But this is not the end of our salvation. The Apostle Paul goes on to describe the life we should be living. “So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.” (Romans 8:12-13 ESV)
As long as I lived in this state of sinful virtual reality, I bore the fruit of my wicked root. My life reflected the things I loved. I could pretend all I wanted, but I did not have peace and I could not understand why. I was dissatisfied with my job, addicted to food, and depressed with no hope. I reasoned that “I believe in God and was therefore a Christian.” But I was not living like one and God knew it. I nullified the grace of God with my behavior by rejecting it and continued to be enslaved to those things that captivated my heart. The Apostle Paul wrote, “The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs–heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.” (Romans 8:16-17 ESV) So how do we suffer with him? How do we take up our cross (Matthew 16:24) and follow him? We stop sinning. Remember, Jesus never sinned.
But you say, “How is that even possible? I am addicted to alcohol. I can’t stop. I am addicted to gossip. I can’t stop. I am addicted to romance novels. I can’t stop. I am addicted to sex with underage boys. I can’t stop.” I would suggest that you love those things more than you love God or you would ask for His help and you would stop. And this is where I will lose a lot of people. They will click away from this page and say, “I can’t do that. It’s too hard!” And that is where I write, “It is difficult, but not impossible.” The Apostle Paul said the same thing when he wrote, “I can do all things through Him (Christ) who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13. The “stopping” is the evidence of a changed life. Without it, one could argue that you don’t really belong to Him at all. That is what Romans 8:13 means.
When I first heard the name, John Owen, I was desperate for guidance in this area of my life. I had begun walking the path of discipline but I continued to struggle with my desires. I not only wanted to stop the pattern of sinning, I wanted to stop the desire for sinning. So when I heard of his book, “The Mortification of Sin in Believers,” I could not wait to read it. I was certain that in this realm lay my hope for peace. I only needed to take hold of it and claim victory. But the prose was hard to read and the concepts proved difficult to grasp. Still, I fought through it, and–once grasped–the truth was like streams of living water in my soul. John Owen taught me to love the law–the ten commandments. He taught me that nothing was sweeter than fellowship with Christ. And He taught me that to mortify (discipline) the flesh was a worthwhile endeavor. John Piper echoes his words in a sermon, “Make war killing sin!” I learned to read, to re-read and to put into practice these concepts and in so doing came to know my Savior in a fresh way; namely, by obeying his commands by the grace of God.
I do not write this from a place of perfection. What John Owen and John Piper–via God’s Word–continue to teach me is how to more effectively fight my sinful tendencies. And while friends and family have urged me to “stop being so hard on myself” and to “just rest and accept God’s grace”, that is not what the scriptures tell me. God’s word says I must fight because my enemy–the devil–is a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. So when I write on social media that Jesus Christ is our only hope for a cure to the problem of evil, that is because he is the only one who can banish evil from the hearts of men. I know this because I’m living proof.
I no longer compare myself to other people to determine my virtue. Instead, I compare myself to the sinless Christ. I know I am no different than Ben Affleck, or for that matter, Bernie Madoff. I am as guilty of murder as Charles Manson and adultery as Donald Trump. And it is only by the love of a sinless Savior who took my punishment so that I might be set free from the power of sin that I can write this blog. He enabled me to stop eating myself to death, to stop coveting what my neighbors have, and to stop believing I was completely self-sufficient. He is the cure for the deadly curse, and He is my best friend.
Today, if you are dealing with an addiction that is killing you, call out his name. Allow him to replace the other loves in your heart and He will set you free.
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