I had dinner with a friend last night that I don’t know very well. From past experience I know there is always that awkward moment when you aren’t sure what to say and you try to fill the empty void with words. I went into that meal bound and determined not to commit that faux pas. I am learning that the discipline of listening–really listening–takes effort. So often in past years I have seen my tendency to interrupt and talk over as opposed to trying to understand other points of view. Last night I tried to set all of those bad habits aside and just be still.
I say all of this to note that at one point in the conversation I brought up the corruption of the human heart. I mentioned that I have found hatred and murder present in my own heart and have struggled to wrest them from my psyche. Also, I said that I have dealt with this because I have been so deeply betrayed by people I cared for and called friends. I said, “That is why I love Jesus. He has always been faithful.”
The person I was eating with said that Christians as a whole are responsible for most of the mass murders in America and I found that curious. When I consider who Christ was and what he taught while on earth, it occurs to me that people who study his teachings know he never advocated such behavior. However, people are prone to corruption and, for various reasons, will twist and corrupt what the Bible says to suit their motives–which is how we end up with people like David Koresh and The Branch Davidians. Only truly corrupt people would twist God’s word into condoning the rape of a 13 year old girl and the subsequent murder of 79 people. With all of that in mind, I feel pretty certain my friend doesn’t understand at all where I’m coming from as a follower of Jesus.
Still, I’ve been thinking about our conversation today as I participated in the American tradition of thanking God for my blessings. I say “American” because I invited my Chinese friend to spend the day with my family and we had many conversations about Chinese customs, including the Mid-Autumn festival which consists of lunar worship and the consumption of Mooncakes. Thanksgiving appeared to her to be very much the same as this Chinese custom. People gather around the tables with copious amounts of food and eat themselves silly. The only difference is that in my family we pray to God before we eat, and thank Him for providing the food. She has asked many questions about this custom because we spend a lot of time together and I do my best to explain, but much like my friend from yesterday, she simply doesn’t understand.
When it comes to Christians, many misconceptions abound from those who don’t follow Christ’s teachings, and it can be quite a big hurdle to cross for the friendship to progress. For instance, how do I explain that I love a being I can’t see? How do I know he is real? I mean, it does look rather kooky from an outsider looking in. So really, how am I different than David Koresh in the grand scheme of things? Don’t I act on my beliefs and use God to justify my behavior?
“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.” -Jesus in John 14:1
When I say that I am a Christian, it means that I follow Christ. I’m not a good person. I am ravaged with sin. The only difference I can see between me and someone who does not believe that Jesus was the son of God, is that I am forgiven and healed of these sins and that one day I will reside with Him in Heaven.
“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Yet a little while and the world will see me no more, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live.” -Jesus in John 14:18-19
So what does Jesus expect of me? Does he want me to start the next holy war and murder people? Since “Christians” have this reputation for murdering and causing a great commotion in the world because of their beliefs, where do I stand on that issue?
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you.” -Jesus in John 15:12-14
Jesus told his disciples this and then he went and endured torture, died on the cross, and rose from the dead to prove that he was who he said he was. So it follows with me that if I love Jesus and follow his teachings, I will be the one giving up my life, not the other way around. People can claim to be “Christian” all day long, but if they take life away from another human being–if they make their wishes more important than others–if they wound rather than bind up and heal–they do not follow the same Jesus I believe in.
Today was Thanksgiving. I ate too much food. I enjoyed the fellowship of my family. I considered that my oldest son was probably denied both of these simple American traditions and it grieved me. I miss him. But today I also know that my son is a follower of Jesus. I don’t hold my son in my arms at this moment in time, but I know that he rests in the arms of Jesus. No matter what his day consisted of, I know that he is safe there.
Today was Thanksgiving. Today, the thing I was most thankful for was not a thing, it was a person. And His name is Jesus. Maybe that’s a little simplistic to some folks, but it’s who I am. He is the only cause of anything good that comes out of me.
I don’t always think very fast on my feet. I’m not very clever in conversation and I suppose I could argue better about why I believe the things I believe. But I’m going to rest in the knowledge that I may never be a good orator, but as long as I am a faithful lover of people who is willing to lay down my life for others, I am being true to the teachings of the one whose name I profess to believe in.
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