How to Fight the Octopus of Emotional Upheaval

Have you ever faced an enemy so huge, so inconceivably ugly, and so unrelentingly stinky that you knew you had no chance of winning, and so you willingly threw yourself into his arms and let him squish you into a bloody pulp? If not, your weirder than me and should read another blog. Maybe one about zombies because they don’t have emotions – they only want brains. If you are still here, today you get to read about my recent experience with that pesky Octopus of Emotional Upheaval. He is the provocateur of the most disciplined person, and if not properly tamed, will destroy relationships, hard-fought-for goals, and finally, your sanity. He is one mother of a hell beast and only those properly equipped can effectively defeat him.

Let me be clear, he is defeatable! You just have to chop off his slimy tentacles one suction cup-infused strangle hold at a time. His plan has been perfected through the ages, and he is a master of reducing even the most disciplined person to insolvability with a flash of his foul tainted breath. His tactics are relentless. (*Disclaimer: I write from a Christian worldview). With all of that in mind, let me begin.

Exhaustion

We live in a fast paced world and people expect us to move, well, fast. The advent of email was stupendous until we all realized that our capability to send correspondence lightening fast increased our capacity for stress by about 1000%. This is where the Octopus of Emotional Upheaval(hereafter nicknamed Suck-o-pus) thrives. Suck-o-pus will rip through the paper thin walls of your calm demeanor, attach his tentacles to your calm, and suck the marrow right out of it. This can result in something as simple as a case of the crabbies to something entirely more sinister; rage.

Exhaustion is not entirely preventable but our response to it is crucial. I am personally guilty of not responding to my body when it cries for rest. After all, there is always one more dish to wash, one more lunch to pack and one more email to respond to. But that is when I must break out the sword of “Enough-is-enough.” Fortunately, I have learned that I can thwart Suck-o-pus by laying down my “perfect badge” and accepting my limitations. I am, after all, only one person. Rather than lash out at the unsuspecting guppies in my general vicinity, I find it best to lop off the tentacle of exhaustion by soaking in a hot bath or taking a nap. Suck-o-pus will throw up a lot of objections but that’s what doggie bags are for. I say sock it to Suck-o-pus! Just go to bed.

Physical Infirmity

Our bodies are fragile and oftentimes afflicted. Be it depression, the flu, or a chronic health issue, Suck-o-pus reaches out from his lair of misery and goes straight for the eyes. He figures if we are blinded by our pain we might naturally forget how to maintain our composure. He will even argue that we have every right to lash out at everyone around us. Gripe and Grimace are his horrible henchmen but we can eliminate their venom by remembering that we are not alone in our suffering.

Pain is a common human experience. Sometimes, as in the case of a simple headache, we can take some acetaminophen and wait for the pain to subside. Other times we must privately acknowledge our weakness and determine how best to not infect others with our negative feelings. Emotions in this regard can be raw. It is important to acknowledge them and give yourself time to grieve. Suck-o-pus would have you stay in that state forever but you must lop off that terrible tentacle with community. Call a trusted friend and share your hurt. Ask for prayer. In the absence of people grab your Bible and repeat the promises of God.

Deuteronomy 31:6 – Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

In this regard, never, ever let Suck-o-pus isolate you from people. Once he drags you into his lair you are done for!

Disagreement with Loved Ones

You’ve been there. You want Chinese and your spouse wants Mexican. You’ve been craving crab Rangoon all week but he insists his need for salsa takes priority. Suck-o-pus thrives on these types of situations and will use his tenacious tentacles by way of your growling stomach to shoot verbal daggers at your loved one’s heart. Suddenly that date you had been looking forward to all week is in jeopardy. If Suck-o-pus gets his way, you’ll both be dragged into his lair of misery regardless of which option you choose.

I’ll be frank; I’m not the queen of compromise. My belly wants what it wants. But when I remember that frustration and anger can be felt—but not dealt—I am most effective at combating this terrible tentacle. The best weapon in this regard is love. When you feel that tentacle trying to wiggle through the chinks in your armor, think back to the days when you were willing to Walk 500 Miles to be with the love of your life. Remind yourself that love is patient, and kind, and definitely not rude. I Corinthians 13 is a whole arsenal of weapons at your disposal. And lest Suck-o-pus counter by saying your disagreement is far worse than a simple menu option, let me remind you that true love is displayed best by the willingness to lay down one’s life(and henceforth one’s will) for a friend. I have found I am only capable of chopping off this tentacle with the help of Jesus because he is gracious to remind me that is exactly why he was born in the first place—to save me from myself. When I consider that, I realize telling my husband he’s a Selfish Salsa Snob really should have no place in my vocabulary.

Unmet Expectations or Disappointment

So the promotion you were promised didn’t come through. Your favorite football team broke faith and left your city for warmer(but most decidedly drier) pastures. A traffic jam caused you to miss your child’s recital—the one you promised her you would attend and had planned to video tape. Suck-o-pus is ready with the Tempestuous Temper Tantrum of Terror. Seriously, the anger is so prurient you can feel your fist bashing through the window in order to throttle the closest available driver, no matter how innocent.

But wait. Before you allow Suck-o-pus to drag you away and poison you with relentless resentment, pull out your bevy of beautiful blessings. This is one time you can really have fun with Suck-o-pus. He hates nothing more than to be shamed by the memory of your first day on the job and how thankful you were to be employed after a long hiatus. He loathes the fact that you can use the money you would have spent on football tickets for that long overdue vacation with your spouse. He recoils with the knowledge that even though you missed the recital, you will have the pleasure of holding your child in your arms again—a blessing some parents will not experience this side of heaven. Laugh in Suck-o-pus’ face as you chop off another slithery appendage and remind him he is one big fat loser.

A Broken Heart

Suck-o-pus probably finds the most glee in suffocating his broken-hearted victims with sadness. This is one area where we have literally no control over our emotions. Anguish roils our skin like a second degree sunburn. No matter how we fight, the pain pricks and sears.

Suck-o-pus has seen many a victory in my life in this regard, and I have spent countless tears in his den of misery. There is a saying that “time heals all wounds” but I’m not sure that’s entirely true. At least not for me. There are some wounds that are incurable. Thus I find that when Suck-o-pus, that horrible Octopus of Emotional Upheaval, is wreaking the most havoc on my person, I find the fastest way to relief is through the person of Jesus. Say what you will about chocolate or alcohol or money, none of them have the healing hands of my Savior.

“When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:17-18

Learning how to control our response to intense emotions is a decidedly difficult discipline. It requires a certain feistiness that feels rather irrational in the heat of the moment, but when mastered bears the sweet fruit of peace. Jesus is the author of peace and therefore I find that I can empower none of these weapons without his help. I just want to throw that out there. And while it’s been fun to write about Suck-o-pus, emotional upheaval is no joke. I believe God means our emotions for good, and I am thankful for his grace to cover the times I do not have the presence of mind to employ any defense against that marauding, menacing, monster.