Misery is an all too common experience for humans. If we can experience pleasure, we can experience pain. Sometimes those sensations are even coexistent, as with the pulse of the beating heart of an addict. Sometimes it happens that the very thing we crave the most, and that gives us some relief from living in this broken world, is the very thing that causes the most pain. When we live in such a dreadful place, we feel the walls closing in—the trapdoor has slammed shut—and all we can do is scream, “Help! Somebody help me!”
Even worse are the charlatans who promise hope and deliver empty husks. They take our money, our time, and our sense of dignity, while they laugh—usually all the way to the bank.
I remember what it was like to look into my closet and realize nothing fit. The dryer shrank my clothes again and I would have to go shopping. I remember feeling like there were hands wrapped around my throat, squeezing. I didn’t enjoy shopping. I didn’t want to buy bigger clothes. Shopping made me sad and I honestly didn’t know what to do to stop the madness. So I went to The Supplement Superstore and bought 2 bottles of pills. These pills promised to stop my appetite and help me burn fat. And they weren’t cheap. A week later it was obvious that the pills didn’t work. Also, they made me feel jittery. So I quit taking them—even though they were expensive and I didn’t want to lose my investment(about $200). Even worse, I started to get terrible headaches and realized they only went away when I took more pills. I was furious. I stared at the white, black and red bottles. I thought about the man who sold them to me. “Why? Why did he lie to me?”
Obesity is a curse. I am cursed. I inhabit a body that finds great pleasure in eating but is extremely efficient. I live in a society that constantly flashes images of tasty food at me and tells me I should indulge. They lie too. But it took me a really long time to see it. Once I did, I got just as angry as I did at the supplement man. Because when I realized that some people live only to take advantage of my weaknesses for the sole reason of lining their pockets, I wanted to fight back. The problem was I didn’t know how.
Recently a friend showed me a bar he has been eating to “curb his appetite.” It’s green and looks like a well-formed turd. I’m not kidding. Even worse, when I looked at the packaging, I see it has 190 calories in it—almost as much as a candy bar. The packaging claims that the ingredients slow down digestion and therefore make the consumer hungry less frequently. My friend is not losing weight. He is frustrated. I am too. I want to tell him, “Why don’t you just eat some fruit or vegetables? Add some peanut butter. That will slow down digestion.” But he won’t listen. He believes the box over me. And that, my friends, is the power of marketing. The truth is, sometimes we are drowning and even though someone throws us a life raft, we push it away. We refuse it because it’s not shiny and new. We refuse it because we like our lake. We refuse it because we are flailing in our agonies and think it can’t really save us. So we breathe in the water and we sink.
Are you sinking today? Would you like a real life preserver? Here’s my attempt to throw one your way.
You must cut sugar out of your diet
I know it sucks. But sugar is not your friend(even if you think it is). And since most processed food has refined white sugar or corn syrup in it, the very best thing you can do is eat whole foods. “OMG!” You say. “I can’t do it!” Yes you can. And if you want to stop drowning, you must. It’s one of the very first things they will tell you in OA(Overeater’s Anonymous). No sugar.
Water is your best friend. Drink it. Lots of it
When you wake up in the morning, drink a big glass of water before you even think about eating. Instead of reaching for that mid-morning snack, drink a glass of water instead. “But water is gross!” you say. “Water is not only ugly, it’s stupid too!” (my youngest child tells me this all the time). Okay. I get it. You think water is stupid. Your body does not. Your body wants water and lots of it. Many times your body says, “I am hungry. Feed me, Seymour!” when what it really wants is water. Which leads me to my next point…
Unless your stomach is growling, you are not hungry
I have a phobia about hunger. I do not like it. Not one bit. But hunger has been a friend to me. Hunger reminds me I am burning fat. If you want to lose weight, you must manage your hunger. Only you know your body. So don’t listen to whoever says, “eat small meals every two hours” or “Only eat 1000 calories per day.” Listen to me. You must learn to hear what your body is saying. You must get to know it so that you can tame its passions. That is part of the journey. I know I am hungry when my belly gurgles or hurts. Only then am I allowed to eat. And even then I eat smaller portions.
Have Fun with Food
Get excited about your journey. Plan. Prepare. Look up healthy recipes. Try foods you’ve never tried before. I remember going to a fancy grocery store and picking up exotic fruits for dessert. I tried vegetables I hadn’t tried before. I looked up recipes to cook them. I love food. I didn’t want to sacrifice flavor for what little I could eat. And then I realized the world was my oyster! I learned about cumin, paprika, lime(for marinades) thyme, etc. Suddenly the healthy foods I was making were actually quite tasty. Vegetables like sweet potatoes and carrots took the place of French fries. Lean meats replaced greasy burgers. Yogurt and fruit replaced cereal. I was full, satisfied and felt better physically. Win/win!
Move
If you have been sedentary for a long time it will be hard to move. Move anyway. I once read about a woman who was chair-bound because of her weight. She would flap her arms and rock out to music from her chair until she lost enough to walk. Find something that is relatively fun and that you can stick with. I never liked gyms, but I loved the outdoors. Walking was a fun way to make myself sweat and see the earth and sky. I started with 15 minute walks and then walked longer as I got stronger. That is how I lose the first 100 pounds; eating less and moving more. If you have the capacity to move, you are better off than some who can’t. Don’t waste what you have. Move!
Set your mind like flint
Make a decision and stick to it. Don’t fudge. Don’t take “cheat” days. Don’t make excuses. If you can’t exercise one day, you’ll need to eat fewer calories. If you eat a batch of chocolate chip cookie dough in a weak moment…throw what you haven’t eaten away(I promise—it’s okay to throw food away. Better the trashcan is fat than you). Distance yourself from people who say, “You have worked so hard—treat yourself!” Treating yourself is how you got stuck in the trap. Remember that you want out of the trap more than anything in the whole wide world. When cravings come, remember the lies. When scale disappointment happens, move forward. If you give up, you fall back into the trap. Living a healthy lifestyle is a mindset not a fad diet.
Educate Yourself
I love to learn. Reading books is one way I do that. I go to the library. (I’m a cheapskate). I learned a lot about sugar addiction from books. I also learned my taste buds changed when I stopped eating it. That was so cool! I never knew milk was sweet. Google is a fantastic tool. Use it. Jeannette Fulda helped me a lot with her book, “Half-Assed”. She told me losing weight was possible. Knowing I could do it was ¾ of the battle.
Find a Buddy
My buddy Becky helped when I couldn’t help myself. She spoke truth when all I heard was lies(my own and others). She loved me and wanted to help me. She bore with me patiently. I can never ever repay her because I couldn’t have done it without her support.
I’ll stop there for now. There is your life raft. I hope you grab hold of it. It may not seem like it now, but you can dare to hope. Hope and see what happens. Sometimes we must see the water around us for what it is and realize we are tired of drowning.
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